Finally Figured It All Out...

So as some of you know the past couple of days I've been in a not so good mood. So I was laying in bed last night and it clicked. I'm graduating. Well of course I knew this before, I mean I've only been saying it for the last 2 years. Then I got upset again. I laid down and was trying to figure out why I was so depressed. I thought it was just because I really missed my boyfriend and everything...and I do :) But that wasn't it. I couldn't help what I was feeling though, I couldn't stop the tears that started to come to my eyes. I didn't know why the hell I was so upset. Then I knew. June is always a hard month for me. It's the anniversary of my grandmother's death. This year it is going to be 10 or 11 maybe even 12 years since she passed away. So you think 'yeah, what's this got to do with anything?' I know I'm graduating in May not June. But you know what? I know how proud she would be of me. If I go on, then the tears might start again...so I'm just going to end this with a poem that I wrote today. It helped me kind of cheer up a little. So let's hope by graduation I can finally be myself again. You'd Be So Proud You'd be so proud of the woman I've become. You'd be so proud of everything I've done. You'd be so proud I can see you smiling down. You'd be so proud of everything around. Oh I know you'd be so proud that I'm following my dream. Oh you'd be so proud that I made it through somehow. I know you're watching me on my special day and you are still so proud. I think I know exactly what you'd say "I am so proud of you."