18 Reasons to Love Being Single
Dateless on Valentine's Day? There's no reason to gag yourself with a box of chocolates. In case you need a reminder, here are several reasons why being unattached totally rocks.
1. You'll never waste a Saturday at a car show.
2. When it comes to movies such as Scarface, Star Wars, and Band of Brothers, ignorance really is bliss.
3. You have total freedom to adopt an adorable stray kitten and name it Fluffkins.
4. Power anthems like Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" are more fun when you really mean the lyrics.
5. It's totally fine to give the cute bartender/waiter/barista a napkin with your phone number and the message "call me!"
6. No one will ask you to don a jersey and root for a sports team that doesn't have a shot in hell of winning a game this season.
7. You don't need to ask permission to gon on a last-minute trip to Vegas with your girlfriends - or anywhere, for that matter.
8. Both sides of the bed belong to you.
9. You can devote hours to primping before a big night out - complete with a blow-out and manicure - without some dude constantly asking when you'll be ready.
10. Although you don't have a BF, you do have a collection of crushes, a.k.a The Bagel Guy, Running Man, Sexy Irish Bartender, and Mr. Good Hair.
11. When you aren't part of a duo, it's much easier to find the time to pursue your own interests, like training for a marathon or writing a screenplay.
12. The City and Gossip Girl are even more enjoyable when you don't have to flip to SportsCenter during the commercial break.
13. There's no need to stress about impressing a guy's mother, sister, boss, or any other VIP in his life.
14. With more time to work out and less temptation to chow down on guy-friendly junk food, you're more likely to squeeze into the skinniest of skinny jeans.
15. TiVo understands you - not someone with an addiction to Family Guy.
16. Without a guy on your arm, it's much easier to get into clubs without paying a cover charge. Not to mention scoring free drinks.
17. No one is keeping track of how much money you spend on shoes.
18. You never know who you'll have sex with next.
The Single Girl's Valentine's Day
Who says V-day is for couples? Defy Cupid by indulging in these sassy solo pursuits, inspired by e-mails from other single girls!
Just because you're single doesn't mean you're alone! Round up some unattached chicks and hit the bars, a restaurant, the local karaoke joint, the bowling lanes, whatever. Revel in your ability to have an amazing time, no men needed. - Katriona, 30
Whether it's George Clooney or Johnny Depp, spend the night with your ultimate celeb crush. Rent a handful of his movies and treat yourself to an eye-candy marathon. - Jillian, 22
Organize a Secret Admirers gifting sesh, a la Secret Santa: You and a group of friends draw names and then deliver items like chocolate, flowers, and teddy bears to each other. That way everyone can have a Valentine... - Mary, 23
Since you aren't spending your dough on some dude, might as well spend it on yourself. Give yourself some credit for how amazing you are and treat yourself to something special like a mani-pedi, a new necklance, or a blow-out at the salon. - Aubrey, 27
Ask a guy friend out for a platonic date and split a meat at a tasty restaurant. Make a game out of your dinner discussion by looking around the restaurant at all the couples (there will be a ton!) and guessing which ones will actually last, based on their body language. - Karen, 24
Be a rebel and convince your co-worker bestie to play hookie with you. Instead of sitting in meetings or watching other chicks get flowers delivered to their cubes, you and your pal can go shopping, take a day trip somewhere fun (like skiing!), or catch a new flick like Confessions of a Shopaholic or Bride Wars, sans the crowded theater. - Julie, 25
Party at your place! Invited friends over for wine, appetizers, gossiping, and good times. To mix it up, make it a theme party, like suggesting everyone wear all pink (or black, if you caught the "Singles Awareness Day" bug) and create an iPod playlist with songs like "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and "Holding Out for a Hero." - Lauren, 21
What Makes Men Fall in Love
There's into you, and then there's head-over-heels gaga. These little things tip a man over that edge.
It's a baffling question: Is there some specific moment or event that makes a guy suddenly decide "Yes, I think I love her"? Well, the answer isn't clear-cut, but there are some general principles. "Men have certain innate needs that must be met before they truly feel connected to you," says Paul Dobransky, MD, author of The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love. "When a guy realizes, consciously or not, that you're ideal on all these levels, that's when he'll commit."
Boiled down, guys have four primal relationship desires that are sometiems sated by the tiniest of moves by you. Here, experts explain with examples so you can put these insights to use when your guy is at the brink.
The Desire: To Protect
Believe it or not, the so-called stoic sex is hardwired to nurture. Sheltering you from harm makes him feel studly, which makes him feel good. "Not that you should act helpless, but letting him see your vulnerable side will bring him closer because it unlocks his instincts to take care of you," says David Givens, PhD, author of Love Signals. So give him chances to take charge, and thank him after he does. When a guy associates you with feeling like Superman, of course he'll want to couple up. These little things can draw out his hero side.
Give him a job. Ask him to fix or build you something. Performing concrete tasks is a way of bonding that enhances his sense of success.
Ask his opinion. Whether it's about your 401(k) options or the best travel sites, it telegraphs that you value his brain as much as you do his brawn.
Wear soft materials. Delicate textures like rayon, silk, and fur trigger an intense response in men. These fabrics accentuate your softer, feminine nature, which heightens his amorous instincts.
Don his clothes. It shows that you've chosen him over other guys - sexy.
The Desire: Freedom
Even emotionally healthy men want assurance that their identities will stay put after they've become half a happy couple. "By making it clear that you don't expect your guy to change, he'll feel like you truly understand him but don't threaten his sense of self," says Dan Neuharth, PhD, author of Secrets You Keep from Yourself. "That leaves him feeling on sturdy enough ground to commit." The following moves let him know you're no ball and chain.
Blow him off. Men hate the idea of being tied down socially, so turn down occasional plans. He'll not only feel easier - and open up more - around you, but he'll also start to wonder what you're doing and pursue you more.
Share your own fears. Guys often hold back because they think most chicks are baby-hungry ring-hunters. So if you feel nervous about committing, let him know. He'll be reassured that you're navigating new waters too, not trying to trap him.
Reinvent yourself. Little changes in your appearance now and then - say, hair up in a ponytail one day, down the next, etc. - remind him that you've got zillions of facets to your personality too. Read: no rut risks.
Respect his privacy. A physical space that's totally his is a huge symbol of independence to a man. Signal that you respect that by, say, staying out of desk drawers and not peeking at his caller ID when his phone rings.
The Desire: To Shine
Maybe he's cocky, but he's still insecure. Trust us, guys need to know that they're respected and appreciated. "When being around you increases a guy's esteem, both internally and in the eyes of others, he'll naturally want to be attached to you," says Dr. Dobransky. Here, things that show your high value and nudge him toward love.
Make him happier. Laugh when one of you loses balance during sex. Go to stupid movies. Drag him out when he's crabby. If you can keep things light, even during stressful times, you'll become indispensable.
Be a social butterfly. Guys are good at left-brain stuff, like sales and sports, but can get awkward when it comes to social graces. Take the lead and charm the people you meet and he'll be extra grateful to have you. But he may take credit for making those new friends...whatever.
Play mind games. Activities that require mental prowess - like Scrabble, puzzles, and chess - can prod his passion. It sounds nuts, but proof of your problem-solving abilities subconsciously shows him you're a desirable choice for carrying on his genes.
Act like the grand prize. Seeing you through other people's eyes reminds him how special you are. Invite him to an event where you'll excel (whether it's karaoke or a fun run), or have him stand between you and another man you think is getting too close at a bar.
The Desire: Comfort
"Falling in love is a process of developing attachment, which happens when oxytocin floods the brain," says Alan Hirsch, MD, neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. You can unleash those love hormones by making him feel like you two just "fit." When he's so comfortable with you that he stops thinking about your relationship and simply enjoys it, he'll find himself nudged into love territory. Take these tips.
Let him see you primp. Grooming in front of him enhances intimacy because it's something other guys don't get to witness. Just keep it goddesslike (applying lipstick or powder), not gross (bleaching your moustache).
Cook together. Bring around food spikes oxytocin levels in males. The more often you prep dinner a deux, the more he'll associate you with the good feelings he gets from eating it.
Stock your pad. When buying groceries you don't have a preference on, get a brand he uses. He'll subconsciously feel at home at your place. Sleep with him. Catnap near him or let yourself doze off in his arms so he sees you in your most trusting, completely relaxed state.
What Yanks Him Back from the Brink
Some factors can derail a guy who's about to fall.
1) They Get a New Opportunity. A promotion often means spending more hours at work or taking a schedule-chewing class. Instead of balancing that with their love lives, guys tend to prioritize their careers and believe that a solid relationship will endure the delay. So if something big is brewing, he may hold himself back.
You Never Fight. Sure, guys hate arguing, but it's worse if you don't react negatively at all when he's screwed up. A guy will worry that (a) you're doing to lash out later, (b) you're a doormat, or (c) you're not into him enough to care. Any of these will make him rethink your budding relationship.
Pure Panic. Many men worry that if they commit, they'll have to give something up - friends, dart night, something. So when a guy realizes he's fallen for you, he may freak out and pull away for a while. If you can weather his big-baby behavior without reacting in a way that confirms those fears, he should snap out of it.
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