Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Time has passed but the hurt and sadness hasn't

It's been almost a year...

Almost a year since I lost one of my best friends. As we approach the holiday season she has been on my mind more and more. I don't remember a holiday when she wasn't there laying at our feet as we unwrapped presents or trying to eat the wrapping paper. I was so excited about shopping for her last year and the gift I got her was only good for a month or so. I wish I had known at the last holiday that she wouldn't be around for this one. Then we could've done something special.

I know she's at a better place. I saw her that last morning before I went to work. I gave her a hug and kiss and deep down knew I would never see her again. I cried for days. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, all I could do was think about her. She's done so much for us and we could do nothing for her. It seemed so unfair. What did she do to deserve this?

Throughout every major event this past year I still thought about her. We share memories and think about the good times we had. The first time we set our eyes on her at camp. She was just a puppy. Too shy to even come near us at first.

Sometimes I walk into the living room and feel sad that she's not on the couch cuddling with the blankets or she doesn't meet me at the door anymore. She's in a better place. I try to believe it, I really do. But I can't stop thinking about how unfair it is. She was our best friend. She cuddled with us when we were sick and played with us when we needed to cheer up.

As much as I know this is the best for all of us, my heart is still sad. I've been missing a part of my heart for almost a year. I hope one day it will be healed, but she will never be forgotten. The holiday won't be the same without her. RIP Bessie...we love you and miss you!

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