Well...

You know, sometimes things just happen. There has to be a reason for it or else it probably wouldn't. That's how I got the job at the station...it just happened. Am I thankful it did? Of course! I had heard how hard it was to actually "break" into the radio business. Things are dying down because of satellite shows and satellite radio. Not as many people are hiring full time people, or even part time people anymore. Although the job was kind of handed to me in some sense, it doesn't mean I didn't work at it. I started on overnights and spent just about a year doing that. I knew I had to start somewhere...and so I did it. Not many people really started to hear me until I finally moved into days. I worked Saturday afternoons and sunday afternoons once in awhile. Then the feedback started coming from people I knew. Everyone thought I sounded good. Then the feedback I get now...people say they didn't know it was the same person who was on the air 2 years ago. People say I sound more mature then I used to...well my answer is...you have to start somewhere. Of course I grew...as my first job in radio, it was expected that I wasn't going to be great when I opened the mic and started to talk. I was nervous as hell!! You know...when I first get into that studio for my shift I get a rush, but I also get nervous. That feeling hasn't gone away. Something about having the control of the radio, and then if something goes wrong...I used to be terrifyed that something would go wrong on my show. That doesn't bother me anymore...shit happens. Let's take this past weekend for example. My overnight show that I was called in for was fine. I sounded tired but I couldn't help it. Who's listening anyway? Well a few people are...but anyway, then came the 80's show. I was even more tired for that because I only had 6 hours of sleep and was working 11 hours there that day. But I screwed up on the board twice. Pushed the wrong button to start the wrong element. I caught it pretty quick, so I was able to stop it and start the other one...but that was the first time I have ever done that, and I did twice in one night. You know...it happens, and I think that's been one of the hardest things for me to understand and accept. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to things I love, and I hate that something like that would go wrong on my shift. Anyway, moving up to weekend days was a big step for me...then I filled in around the holidays for mid-days and afternoon and even mornings. It was great. Now I'm on the 80's every other weekend, which is 4 hours of requests, so I think I really have moved up. I've filled in for mid-days a few times while we were looking for a new mid-day personality, and I get the question from people I know, "Don't you get nervous before doing your request hour?" I look at them like their crazy. I say to them that I do 4 hours of requests on Saturdays and have 1 if not 2 contests during the show. The mid-days is a piece of cake compared to that. So, my run at the station has been pretty good to me...I have improved more then I thought was even possible when I first started there. The positive feedback I get from not only the listeners, but my co-workers and PD, just make me feel like it was all worth it. So, everything happens for a reason, right? I'm a pretty religious person when it comes to church and such. I don't go every week because sometimes I just can't make it...but I am pretty religious. I kind of wonder if God is telling me that it's great to have a job that you love, but you need some company once in awhile. I'm going through a time where I'm just beyond stressed, and am just ready to give everything up, and everyone tells me that "you'll be done in May, it's almost over." I want to believe them, but it's not easy. I actually start to have a social life, and I think I'm doing it more for my sanity then anything else. I'm going out with some friends this weekend and a day next week. I'm helping them keep their sanity too. Then there's my mind constantly wandering off to think about "him" :) That doesn't make school any easier. Senioritis and all. But, all in all, I know the only way I'm going to make it until May is by having my friends by my side. They all push me and it's going to help me make this last month in a half work for me. So, everything happens for a reason, right? The job, the friends, the guy, it's all there for a reason. When I want to scream and cry and pull my hair out...it's all there :) I have a few poems I thought I'd share with you, let me know what you think: Walk With Me Walk with me, the path of life, to explore every bend of the road. Enjoy with me the beauty of life, along its wonderful way. Find comfort with me, in each other's arms, when grief crosses our path. Find strength with me, in each other's strength, when despair lies in wait. Laugh with me, a single true laugh, to enlighten another's distress. Cry with me, a single true tear, to understand true happiness. Cherish with me, the wonders of life, as they need to be preserved. Rejoice with me, in the mysteries, of what is yet to be. Find peace with me, in each other's souls, when the wold has gone insane. Find love with me, in each other's hearts, until this life has bee fulfilled. And when the path comes to an end, I hope we ca say from within. We've known the beauty of true love, our love came from within. Times In Love There are times when words aren't enough feelings can't always be put into words; because they are inadequate and often escape us sometimes, they are only feelings. There are times when all you need is a look; a silent, wordless connection between souls an understanding that needs no translation a natural, knowing stare that says everything. There are times when all you need is a touch; nothing spoken - just the gesture of reaching out touching, silently transferring your energy conveying something that comes from within. There are times when all you need is acceptance to know that you are valued as you are that any changes make only enhance you more as you discover yourself. There are times when all you need is love no conditions or demands, only simplicity. To know that for no reason at all another chooses you over all others. There are times when all you ever wanted, was to be completed by another person. There are times when you need all of these things there are times when nothing else matters. The Best Chance Every building that's built Will someday come down It will age, it will buckle It will crash to the ground Every car that we drive Will someday just die The engine, the brakes The gast tank runs dry Every shirt that we purchase All the clothes that we wear They will fade and unravel They will stain, they will tear Every tree that's above us Never matter how tall It's time too will come And then it will fall Every day that was wake When the sun shines so bright We're sure we can count on The darkness of night Nothing lasts forever So it seems to be true But nothing's ever had a better chance Than what I feel for you A Special Place There is a special place in life, That needs my humble skill, A certain job I'm meant to do, Which no one else can fulfill. The time will be demanding, And the pay is not too good And yet I wouldn't change it, For a moment -- even if I could. There is a special place in life, A goal I must attain, A dream that I must follow, Because I won't be back again. There is a mark that I must leave, However small it seems to be, A legacy of love for those Who follow after me. There is a special place in life, That only I may share, A little path that bears my name, Awaiting me somewhere. There is a hand that I must hold, A word that I must say, A smile that I must give For there are tears to blow away. There is a special place in life that I was meant to fill. A sunny spot where flowers grow, upon a windy hill. There's always a tomorrow and the best is yet to be, And somewhere in this world, I know there is a place for me.

Some Thoughts...

Well I've been waiting just about all day to write this post. So now's as good a time as any, right? Yeah...notice it's kind of early yet again. So I think my PD likes to torture me...lol...no really I'm just kidding...don't tell him I said that...lol. I was called in to work the overnight...it's going to be a VERY long day for kimmie!! I go home at 6 to try to get some sleep, then working 4-7 then 8-midnight. It's going to be a long day to say the least! It's an All 80's Saturday Night though...we always have fun during that...so make sure you make your requests tonight! So these thoughts I had were not really related to my PD trying to torture me or anything :) I was just generally thinking during classes today (yeah senioritis has finally caught up with me) and it's always scary when you get me thinking. Most of you know that it can be a dangerous situation. :) Anyway, I got to thinking about dating. You know...I really don't see the point of the whole thing. I know that might sound bad, but hey it's my blog and I can talk about anything I want. lol...what's the definition of dating? It's a verb and it means to go out with someone. Yeah...that was hard to figure out...I looked it up on line :) So what do you generally do on dates? Dinner/movie...something like that usually...okay, that's fine. What else should you be doing on dates? No...contrary to popular belief, the answer is not making out. You should be getting to know the person, right? That's the purpose of dating, is it not? Get to know someone else and see if you enjoy their company. Yeah I know...I'm smart, I figured that out all on my own. So apparently, according to the definition of dating, you have to actually physically go out and do something. Well with the Internet the way it is today, more and more people are meeting people online. The problem is, it's happening to kids too...that's a whole other story which I don't want to get into now. But, I've met a few people online before and it's just not the same as physically meeting someone and being able to talk to them before you decide that you have enough in common to go out and get to know each other better. So back to my point about dating. Friday and Saturday nights are what many food places would call "prime nights," same with movie theaters. They live on those days...I think it's a rip-off. Have you seen the prices of movie tickets lately? It's astrinomical. We don't have a choice but to pay it if you want to go out on a date, or even just go as a family to a movie. Trust me, I'm not against dating at all :) Sometimes I just have to go off on these speals because it was on my mind today. Bottom line...I think it's become extremely pricey to take anyone out anymore. But we pay it don't we? I just like being with a person. We don't have to be paying all this money or doing anything extra special. My definition of date probably wouldn't be a verb, because we don't have to be doing anything. I just enjoy someone's company. Anyway...I don't know if anyone at all agrees with my take on dating...but hey with senioritis kicking in, I have to think about something...lol. Just don't get me wrong...I'm not against dating...I always like spending time with someone :)

Huh?

Yeah...the title pretty much says it all. Just been one of those weeks I think. You know, sometimes you just have one of those weeks where you do everything you can and want but it still doesn't feel like you've done it all. I don't know if I make any sense right now, but it's almost 11 at night so I have an excuse. Anyway, I have 5 classes tomorrow starting at 9:30, and I still don't feel like I'm ready for them. I probably forgot to do something, it wouldn't surprise me at all. On to the internship side of things...had some good feedback this past week from Jeff and Dave (my co-workers). They really like my writing. I never think my writing is good enough, so I guess it's good to hear positive feedfback like that. Jeff even asked me today if there was ever a time I would be able to work a full day if he wanted a day off. You know, I'm really starting to enjoy it!! I like that it's something different everyday. I might stay in news after all...but I honestly don't know what I'll do if I have to choose between the two. It's something to think about long and hard...what do I really want to do with my life? It's a question that has been torturing me for the past few months. My sister's having some hard times in her senior year of high school this year, and I think back to high school myself. I hated it...I didn't know how my older sister could be 4th in her graduating class. I hated schoolwork and everything associated with it. Then I entered H-Triple-C and I think it was the best decision of my life. A community college that offered the amazing Radio/TV program (Jeff went there too...same graduating class). I loved the radio/TV club and going to NYC to go to all these television shows, I really was living out a dream up there. Came to Utica College and left some truly amazing people at Herkimer. Hardest thing I ever had to do. I made some more amazing friends, and last semester made Dean's List (first time since my first semester at HCCC)...I was so excited. I'm at a 2.6 right now...hoping to raise it to a 3.0 by semester end. But I've looked back at high school and how relieved I was to just be graduating with my class, now 4 years later, I'm amazed that I actually made it. There have been so many sacrifices though. I haven't been the kind of person to open up to anyone. Very few people have actually been able to see inside of me. Trust me, I'm an emotional person, but one something hurts me deep down, not many people get to see that part. It's been probably about 10 years since my grandma passed away. I locked myself in my room for hours at a time and cried. I cried at the funeral, but that's the only time I let people see me cry. Granted I was 11 or 12 at that time, but I hurt so bad. I didn't know anything could make me feel such pain. Then there was the time I had an extremely awful co-worker. I couldn't stand her, no one really could. She drove me nuts, but I wasn't the type to say anything to anyone, until it literally made me sick. I would come home from work and cry for hours. Then that led into panic attacks and I knew I had to say something. She eventually left, but it was a hard time for me. Bottom line, not too many people get to look inside and see the real me. That's a con for me. I could put on a front and someone wouldn't know, but look me in the eyes and you'll find your answer. This all comes out of me really wanting to have some kind of social life. Since I've started college it has been craziness in my life and I haven't had time for anything or anyone. Don't get me wrong, I love my jobs and I love school in some sense, it's just my life feels so one sided at times. I have this great future and career ahead of me...but what then? I always said I wouldn't settle down until I got to where I wanted to be in my career. I didn't want love to get in the way of that. I still don't. I still want to make it somewhere someday, but I'm beginning to think that I need to see what else is out there. At least do something fun once in awhile. Everyone always says "it'll be different after May." I know their right, but who knows where I'm going or what I'm doing. Kind of a hard thing to think about. Try it sometime. What would your life be if you weren't where you were today or doing what you are doing today? I've decided pretty much today to focus on the present for the moment. I'll just go wherever God wants me to go. My life has alwyas been in his hands, I think it's time I realize that. If I don't get a job somewhere, then it must have been in his plan. If I don't have much of a social life, then maybe he's telling me to just focus on what I'm doing now. Making it through and graduating, then meeting a great guy or going somewhere in my career. I guess we'll just see...

A Few More...

Hey there again!! It's been an interesting couple of days around here. I'm back up to 100 percent in the way that I feel, that's the good news...bad news, I have so much homework to do on this downward stretch to graduation. A 20 page paper, a 10 page paper, presentations, the works. More good news is I actually kind of enjoy going to my internship now. I've gotten to interview people and do my own stories and I get a rush, much like the one I get when I open the mic to talk. It's crazy, I know, but I love it. Anyway...one more poem to share, the inspiration was just there, so I had to...remember I'd love your input!! The Guy ~Dedicated to you--you know who you are~ The first time I met you I didn't know, The way I would feel with you there. We spent some time just talking, Nothing else in that moment could compare. Every time we talked I smiled, When you weren't there I missed you so much, I wanted to feel your lips on mine, And longed for your sweet touch. Your smile melted my knees, Your eyes made my heart beat. I began to get that feeling, That you made me more than complete. I dream of the time we get to cuddle up, On the couch and just be close. I'll breathe in your sweet scent, And get chills from my head to my toes. I'm falling for you more each day, I seem to have no control over it. But as we say in our little world: The first step is to learn to admit it!! :)

Writing...

Since I was a little girl I felt that writing helped me express myself. I often write poems to express myself. Right after September 11th happened, I wrote a poem that really kind of put me on the map. It was published in some local publications (including my high school yearbook). I have various poems that I thought I'd post up here and get your feedback on. I'm not posting all of them because some are too personal, but take a read and enjoy!! Expectations Life isn't as we all expect It doesn't go that way We have to make the most of it And take it day by day Have no regrets about the past And do not live in fear Of what might come and never does Just put your focus here Here in this moment, that's the place To make the most of life Whatever comes just turn it 'round Create some joy from strife I know you have that strength in you I've seen it there before Just draw on that to see you through Don't look back anymore It's Up To You One song can spark a moment, One flower can wake the dream. One tree can start a forest, One bird can herald spring. One smile begins a friendship, One hand clasp lifts a soul. One star can guide a ship at sea, One word can frame the goal. One vote can change a nation, One sunbeam lights a room. One candle wipes out darkness, One laugh will conquer gloom. One step must start each journey, One word must start each prayer. One hope will raise our spirits, One touch can show you care. One voice can speak with wisdom, One heart can know what's true. One life can make the difference, You see, It's Up To You! Cherished Friends God must have known there would be times We'd need a word of cheer Someone to paise a triumph Or brush away a tear. He must have known we'd need to share The joy of "little things" In order to appreciate The happiness life brings. I think he knew our troubled hearts Would sometimes throb with pain At trials and misfortunes Or some goals we can't attain. He knew we'd need the comfort Of an understanding heart To give us strength and courage To make a fresh, new start. He knew we'd need companionship Unselfish...lasting...true, And so God answered the heart's great need With cherished friends...like you. My Special List I have a list of folks I know... all written in a book, And every now and then... I go and take a look. That is when I realize these names...they are a part, not of the book they're written in... but taken from the heart. For each name stands for someone... who has crossed my path sometime, and in that meeting they have become... the reason and the rhyme. Although it sound fantastic... for me to make this claim, I really am composed... of each remembered name. Although you're not aware... of any special link, just knowing you, has shaped my life... more than you could think. So please don't think my greeting... as just a mere routine, your name was not... forgotten in between. For when I send a greeting... that is addressed to you, it is because you're on the list... of folks I'm indebted to. So whether I have known you... for many days or few, in some ways you have a part... in shaping things I do. I am but a total... of many folks I've met, you are a friend I would prefer... never to forget. Him We exchanged glances, and that one smile. Now your face clouds my vision, for quite awhile. We became friends, as if by fate. Deep down inside, it feels like you're my soul mate. But I'll remain your friend, if you'll remain mine. Maybe someday we'll be more, maybe it's some great design. It's so hard to understand, what is going on in my head. You're over there with your friends, and I long to be there instead. I long for your touch, and your sweet scent. That's when I know, I'll be more than content. But for now I'll remain, a friend to you. Until the day we may be, something better and new. Inspiration ~Dedicated to my boss Michele Kohl~ Looking you in the eyes exchanging that remark smiling at those words carrying on a conversation sending you that important e-mail Relying on you countless times We've laughed and you've been my inspiration I've opened up many times and let you see inside Something not many people see I still look you in the eyes and share those remarks and you seem to understand You're my inspiration-- in more ways than one. Someone I need to talk to, when all is going wrong. Despair ~a teenage poem about growing up in today's society~ I am filled with thoughts never ended I am filled with thoughts that consume my mind until it's about to explode I am consumed with thoughts of never being able to grow old In the world like the one today, the end to life may be waiting just around the corner A young youth with a gun and no experience Or a violent showing of one person's anger You never can be too sure of what's stored in the future For the world has gone corrupt with no solution In days like today there is little hope for society ever to be peaceful and little attempts to correct the wrong that is now done. Many people live their lives in fear of their own shadows Many are afraid of the unknown for it may be the unwanted People live their lives behind locked doors, afraid to face the world with open eyes. Because those who keep their eyes open are disturbed by what they see The world is going downhill fast The pollution, the violence, the substance abuse. The ill, the starved, the poor, the bigots, the anger, the sorrow, the grievance, the confused How did the world come to be so bad? Will the world eventually open their eyes long enough to correct the wrong? or willthe world become ever blinded? Children of the world need to see through all the wrongdoing and see a new light. A light of how the world should be, and how to get the world the way it has never been. The children of the future need to find a solution to the world's problem or the world will be lost in ever-long despair. Memories and Dreams The past is gone but the future remains I long to go back to my childhood days When life was so simple Not a care in the wrold Not having to deal with hate And people you didn't like I search for answers everyday To why my life brought me here this way The hugs from old friends The happiness brought by new friends The laughter at work The first kiss Never will be forgotten The memories always remain Dreams are the future Having to say goodbye to friends Not sure if you'll ever see them again The pain I feel no one knows The dreams I have are big Hopefully with them I will succeed But the memories will always be there To look back on When I'm feeling down The past is gone but the future still remains Stress What's that stiffness in my neck? Feel that lump come in my throat Stomach dropping to my knees Feel like I just missed the boat Panic rising to my head Heartbeat racing, breathing fast Cand I do it? Will I fail? How long will these feelings last? Apprehension overwhelms Nervous twitching, fingers curled Tension headache, aching back All these symptoms now unfurled Now my body's overrun Hormones racing from my glands Must release it, let it out How to do it's in my hands Lost our way of fight or flight Stored up anger, unreleased Words and shouting flung about Now it's time that raging ceased. Relaxation, that's the key Integration of the mind Excercise, good food to eat Leave those worries far behind Hold that stress out at arm's length Draw it, write it, let it go Roll it in a little ball Throw it out, release that woe. Find the tools you have inside Make a choice to be serene Welcome stress, become it's friends Don't put life in quarantine. Music Here all alone, With the stereo on, Lie back and listen until all else is gone. Lost in the music, Consumed by the sound, Singing along when there's no one around. Voices that move me, Emotions so real, Their words flow right through me, Their music I feel. It runs through my veins, And makes me feel whole, I feel their music with my heart and soul. Tired I'm tired. Tired of life, tired of me, tired of who I'm supposed to be. Tired of always being nice and watching what I say, Tired of holding in my feelings, and pretending it's okay. Tired of living day to day, and just barely getting by, Tired of keeping in the tears when I really want to cry. I'm tired of all this pressure and of always being stressed. Tired of everybody wondering why my life is such a mess. But most of all I'm tired of hoping things will change, Then being disappointedwhen they end up just the same. One In A Million One happy thought is the joy to life One lasting love is worth the sacrifice One adventure we have is off the cliff One life we live is a sane gift One view we see is a good creation One thing to be done is for appreciation One good reason is very clever One life-long friend is to be forever One lie is worth confessing One act of kindness is a million blessing As The Time Now Passes I've never felt this way before never felt some love The only greater love I've felt comes from up above Sometimes I'm not sure what to do or even what to say because as I said a bit ago I've never felt this way Should I laugh or should I cry but it would not be sadness for when a person feels this way the emotion seen is gladness I do not talk, I simply look and hope my eyes can speak the words my mouth can't find to say in a day or in a week And as the time now passes I wonder if they know how much they mean to me I fear it will not show And so I hope and I feel sure that those who need to see can see those feelings that aren't spoken those feelings inside me. I Know You ~Dedicated to my late grandmother! I miss you and love you!~ You've touched my life in many a way, helped me live though many a day, don't put the wrong meaning behind when I say I know you... You've filled my eyes with tears, filled my dark days with cheer, I will not wait a year to see you... My shoulder's here for you, when you're feeling blue, I may not know what to do but I'll listen... If I bring you a laugh, my day's better by half, some might think I'm riff-raff but not you... You're a true inspiration, honest, kindly and patient help me through my frustration and never complain... When I think that I've caused pain, or feeligns like cold rain, it sure drives me insane I love you... For all that you've done, what you've helped me become, you are second to none and I'm proud... Proud to have met you, I will never forget you, and I'll sure enough bet you I'm not alone... For each life that you touch, the effect is so much, stronger than the tightest clutch you're Immortal... Even though you are gone, although life moves along, when I hear that one song you'll be there... Angels low, I will think, when my heart starts to sink, I'll look up with a wink and say hi... Our lives have touched, our friendship means much, conversations gave such a warm feeling... Though the mortal form dies, I can tell you no lies, in this woman's eyes you're forever... Poem Of Life When's the last time you watched kids on a merry-go-round? Or listened to the rain as it tickled the ground? Have you followed a butterfly's erratic flight, Stood and gazed at the sun as it faded to night? You had better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last. Do you rush through each day as if on the fly, never catch up however you try? When the day is done do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? You had better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last. Have you ever told your child, "we'll do it tomorrow?" And in your haste, not seen her sorrow? Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die because you never had time to call and say "Hi"? You had better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last. When your running so fast to get somewhere You miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift just thrown away. Life is not a race. Do take it slower. Hear the music. Before the song is over. Comfort Zone I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I couldn't fail The same four walls of busy work were really more like jail. I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before, But I stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor. I said it didn't matter, that I wasn't doing much I said I didn't care for things like diamonds, furs and such. I claimed to be so busy with the things inside my zone, But deep inside I longed for something special of my own. I couldn't let my life go by, just watching others win. I held my breath and stepped outside and let the change begin I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before, I kissed my comfort zone "goodbye" and closed and locked the door. If you are in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out, Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt. A step or two and words of praise, can make your dreams come true. Greet your future with a smile, success is there for you! Quiet Emotions ~Dedicated to you...you know who you are~ I always wanted more from you than you were willing to give; So now we've gone our separate ways each with different lives to live. The bond will always be there the friendship always intact; But the time for us has come and gone and the pages of time, you can't turn back. I will always be a friend to you and wonder how you are; The smiles and laughter I will remember and our fights have become painless scars. Sometimes on those busy days when you've a thousand things to do; Please let me glide slowly through your mind and spend some time with you. In that quiet moment when you're surprised to find me there; Just remember even with the distance between us I am still someone who cares. Why Why does the sun rise and give light, only to set again to soon? Why do stars twinkle so bright, only to pass away with the moon? Why does a rainbow appear with colors to show, only to fade for no apparent reason? Why does a flower take so long to grow, only to wilt during the winter season? Why does snow fall so mysteriously and lay, only to change and then melt? Why do people enter our lives along the way, only to leave us when they know how we feel? I guess noone will really know why, but God above. But we should be happy for all those creations we had some time to know and to love. You Were Always There ~Also dedicated to my grandmother who I miss greatly!~ Whenever I needed someone to talk to You were always there. My eyes filled with tears, my heart filled with pain, and You were always there. There was no time when I had doubt to come to you because You were always there. I could see in your eyes you wanted to help and that you really cared. Whenever I was down and blue You were always there. No matter my problems or what was wrong You were always there. Whenever I felt like nothing matters You were always there. Now you're gone and I don't know what to do I close my eyes and think of you and how You were always there. It's hard to look at the pictures and get memories of you Can you hear me now At night I pray and I speak to you. I gues you were right when you told me no matter how far you were You would always be there. I know one day I'll see you again but until then I have to say goodbye. Even though it hurts to hear your name and speak of you One thing I will always say is You were always there. That's it for the poems this time around! Stay tuned for some more at some point...I'm in the process of writing a few more poems and it should be up here within a week or so...let me know what you think of these ones or what you want my next post to be!!

The Start of a Dream

Hey, see I told you that posts would be coming more frequently now. lol...the only reason for this one is I'm sitting on my couch and feeling like complete shit :( Hardly got any sleep last night, I have a headache, the chills, aching all over, a fever...and more (if you know what I mean with that.) It's kind of weird. Last night I felt completely fine and then I try to go to bed and an hour later I'm up and feeling like this. It's probably the bug that's been going around. I know what you're thinking. Spring break is over and I just don't want to go back :) Not right though. I had every intention of going back today...but it looks like that isn't happening. I just hope I feel up to par for Tuesday because I have to go to my internship...I already didn't go on one day in February because I was sick, I don't want to do that again. Anyway, I have frequently been asked how I started in radio or what got me interested in radio. So to come today I answer all of those questions. If you are trying to break in or are just interested as doing it as a hobby, make sure you read this. Everyone does it differently, but I have some suggestions too. So I'll start at the beginning. I was a sophmore in high school when I became "obsessed" with a local radio station--a Clear Channel station (97.9 KISS-FM). I went to their "Survival Island" that they held that year and observed things. At that point I was only about 15 years old, so of course I was into guys. So one of the guys they had working for them was totally hot!! lol...seriously though. Anyway, I started listening more to the radio and I became a very lucky listener. I won just about every 30 days off of the station...in 2002 I won tickets to an *NSync concert, a Backstreet Boys concert, the TRL tour, and an O-Town concert. In 2002 I won tickets to a Mary J. Blige concert and a Sheryl Crow/Michelle Branch concert. Plus so many CD's I lost count. Also in between times I would win for other people. So because of that many of the DJ's began to know me by name. I developed a couple nicknames from them. Kenny, who is the promotions director and an on-air person, at the time was on in the evening with his co-host Roadrunner. I would call in to win something. They would ask who it was and I would say "Kim." Kenny would laugh and say "Dunner." Then the guy in I mentioned earlier (the "hot" guy) had his own nickname for me. Shaun (that's his name) would call me K-Dunne whenever I won from him. Anyway, I was hooked on "hanging out" with these people. Thus I got many of my friends doing it too...Steph, Amanda and Amanda were a few of my friends that I often would go up to the station with. So as time went on I gradually started to think that it would be cool to be on the radio and have people listening to you. So both Kenny and Shaun told me they had went to Herkimer County Community College to study Radio/TV Broadcasting and it was the best decision they had ever made. So I started to look in to HCCC. In my senior year, during this search, a whole bunch was happening in my "relationships" at the station. Kenny was so full of himself and was positive I liked him. He said some very mean things to me (which I'm not going to go into). Then Steph and Shaun started to date (I think they still do). And in the end, Steph and I stopped talking. We went to HCCC together and we're both at UC together now, but we don't talk very often. So by the end of high school, I didn't talk to anyone at the station anymore and I didn't win anything from them. Fast forward to HCCC. It was the best decision I had ever made...for many reasons. I took many classes in both audio production (using Cool Edit Pro) and television production (using Avid Editing) Plus Sales classes and all of those fun legal classes. So in my freshman year there, I was online one day and I was contacted by Peter Naughton (the Program Director of Lite 98.7 at the time). He had left me a message and asked me to e-mail him sometime because he was looking for part-time people at the station and he previously employed people from HCCC. So we exchanged a few e-mails and then I went in to have an audition. Of course I totally sucked at that. lol...but in my senior year I was hired mainly for overnights. I did overnights for about a year before moving in to days. You should listen to air checks that I did when I first started and listen to them now...sounds like a totally different person in my opinion. Then soon I was on during the holidays when the full-timers were off and then I started to fill in for mid-day and afternoon drive, and that brings us to the present, where I'm working every weekend and alternating working the all 80's Saturday Night. So now as I promised to those reading this that want to break in to the business, some suggestions that I have come up with. For one, if you bomb the audition process, it's not the end of the world. Befriend those at local radio stations (it didn't work for me) but it could lead to an internship or a job at some point. Or they may give you some life changing guidance. Practice your speaking skills. Know how to say W (double-you). Lastly if you have the ability to make a demo tape/CD on your computer, then do that. Just something that shows that you can talk and know the format of the station that you are applying for. So that was my experience at becoming a DJ, a dream that did come true...to end the post, I'll say that I saw Kenny in the store around Christmas and he acted as if nothing had ever happened between us. He said he listens to me now. My mom suggested that it's because I'm more mature and am doing what he does now. I didn't give him the time of day...I said "Hi" and walked away. Hey if you have any questions, feel free to ask me! Lastly, being that I'm under the weather today, there will probably be another post coming, so stay tuned!

Another Overnight

Well I guess when someone does back to back posts very early in the morning two days in a row, you begin to wonder if they have a life...lol...well trust me I do, but I'm bored. Yeah...I'm on an overnight at the station, it's so much fun!! (Can you sense the sarcasm?) I love my job...really I do...but sometimes on these shifts I have to keep telling myself that! I work midnight to 6 then I go home and sleep for 7 or 8 hours and it feels like I waste my whole weekend away. I have to go back to classes tomorrow. Senior year spring break is over...kind of depressing. It's a down stretch until graduation. I know it won't come fast enough, but once it does, what the hell am I gonna do? That thought keeps running through my mind. I guess I deal with the future when the future comes, right? Sometimes it's a scary feeling to not know what is going to be happening in 3 months. Any of you feel that way at one point or another? Yesterday I went to the Skating Club of Utica's annual ice show. For those of you that don't know, I grew up pretty much on ice skates. I took lessons for 7 years...I guess it helped that my aunt and 2nd cousin are coaches for the club. I loved it...I remember dressing up in those little costumes and getting so nervous before skating before judges in some dance tests that I took. So why did I stop you ask...it's so expensive. The skates you need could be $600 a boot. Then lessons and everything, it just got to be too expensive, and it also got to be to the point where I would have to skate everyday, and with school I just couldn't do it all. So I left some very good friends. Many years after that I went back every year to watch my friends skate and receive flowers in their "senior" performances. I couldn't help thinking that I wanted to be back out there. You know it was some time just for me. Being a middle child was so hard growing up. Skating was where I stood out. I got to do something totally different then my sisters. I felt a rush everytime I went out there...almost like the rush I get when I get ready for a talk break on the radio. So anyway, I was at the show. I didn't know anyone anymore (except for the coaches) and this time I didn't think as much about the skating part. My 2nd cousin is the announcer for the show. He's been a DJ on various radio stations in the past, along with coaching the club. I guess that part runs in the family. Now he does commercials for the most part (one which airs on our station). So this time I thought I should be up there announcing the acts too...lol. I just thought it would be fun. I guess the moral of this story is that I am still a skater at heart I think. I would love to get back on the ice. Of course I don't own skates anymore and I probably couldn't stand if my life depended on it, but I think it would be great to try to get back out there. I'll have to go out to an open skate sometime and skate again. It was one part of my life that I don't think was completely fulfilled in that sense. I lost touch with the friends I had made, but I've moved on...I just think I missed out...anyway, that was just on my mind tonight after watching the ice show. So who watches American Idol? I'm a big fan...big Carrie Underwood fan too. I know that was lat year...but she's awesome. Her CD is totally awesome so pick it up if you have the chance! Anyway, I guess I have to do some work now...depressing I know...but hey that's what I get paid for.

I'm Back!!!

I bet you thought I disappered off the face of the planet...lol. No really, I'm still around. Been really busy with my final semester at school and working tons. Filled in for mid-days a few times because our mid-day host left in December. I'm also alternating working the All 80's Saturday Night which is an all request show, so I'm doing well for myself right now. I'm also an intern at one of our sister stations, WIBX. I've been doing a lot of writing there, and interviewing people and the works. It's been fun...I don't know if that might lead to something more permanent when I graduate. If it does I'd have to leave Lite, and I don't know if I want to do that. The DJ part of me wants to play music. You'll never believe the rush I get whenever I open the mic and get to talk. Especially during prime listening times. You know people at work, home or in the car are listening. Maybe not hanging on to every word you're saying, but you know their there. Then you get to talk to the listeners on the phone, or see them at remotes. You'll never believe the feeling I got when for the first time someone called me up to make a request and actually said my name and that they loved listening to me. Anyway, going full-time anywhere in the business would be a great start for me, but I'm not ready to give up the DJ end of it yet...there's too much I want to do in this career. I guess we'll see what happens, and trust me I'll keep you posted. I'm still stuck on overnights once a month, but they have no one else to fill it now, so you do what you have to do, and I'm the youngest person there, so I guess in some sense it's only fair. I have to pay my dues, just like everyone else has done. I don't mind too much, it just ruins my weekend. Classes are going okay. Spring break was this past week, I visited my sister and her boyfriend out in Boston for a few days, but came back in time to have a station meeting and do that important stuff as well. Everyone around me has a cold, so I think I'm bound to catch it at some point. Try being on the radio with a cold...been there done that...sounded like shit!! :) Anyway, the guy in my previous post all the way back in December didn't work out in case you were wondering. Try two shy people together, he was just too uncomfortable...it was the LONGEST night of my life...lol...he now has another girlfriend. We're friends and talk on line often. There is another guy who has been getting a lot of my attention lately...I'm not going to say anything yet, but stay tuned, there's bound to be something!! Anyway, gotta go do work or something...stay tuned for posts...I promise this time!