Umm...yeah...sure...

Ok...so I haven't exactly been checking in lately. I have been totally and completely out of it the past few weeks. I've been exhausted still trying to get used to the new job. Almost done with my 3rd week of the job...and it's been kinda stressful to say the least. First I'll start out by saying last week was rough. We have over 3 feet of snow on the ground which caused me to miss work Wednesday of last week. I couldn't even get out of the driveway, I stayed home and shoveled 5 or 6 times that day and killed my back...so I wasn't happy. Now this week has just dragged on and on. I don't know what it is, but I have had a very short string of patience lately. Everything irritates me and I hate that. Then I shut down...or cry myself to sleep. I just hope it gets better in the next few weeks. Don't know what else to say other then that. I'm getting into the swing of things and having at least one by-line a day usually. So I'll be ok...just have to get used to how things work and stop getting so upset all the time. It'll happen I'm sure...anyway, until next time...

My First Day

So I started my job today at the Herkimer Evening Telegram. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The only thing that I'm not used to is getting up at 5 in the morning. That made me kinda tired today. But I got there at 7 in the morning and started by writing up some community events and such. Then I started on 2 stories that I would have a byline on. Made some phone calls and left some messages. That's the problem with reporting...if you don't get ahold of someone you have to leave messages and it's in their hands when they'll call you back. The morning went by really fast. We had a meeting around 11 and decided who was covering what night meetings. They still aren't set in stone though. I took my lunch around 12 and then the afternoon started to drag. No one was calling me back, I take that back...I did get one call back and did an interview for a story. So I talked to 2 people and did 2 interviews, one for each of my stories. Tried to get ahold of 2 other people...one who was on vacation until next Monday, tthe other who I left a message on their machine and they never called me back. So the afternoon dragged...until about 3 when I started keying in some more community events and such just so I had something to do. I think the worst part of the day was when I had to drive home. It had been snowing all day and the wind was blowing like crazy. It was 20 below with the windchill almost all day. I had to travel from Herkimer back to Utica...took me 15 minutes longer then usual...which actually in reality wasn't that bad. I made it, and once I got home I was just relieved to have made it back. Figures I start working when the snow decides to make an apperance. Lucky me. I'll just take my time and not kill myself trying to get to and from work. So came home, talked to Rich for a little bit, ate dinner and fun stuff like that. Rich had to leave for work around 6...and I literally collapsed. Slept until 7:30 or so. Getting used to this 5 o'clock in the morning thing is gonna take a little while. I'll probably be in bed in an hour or so. Gonna sleep well I think for another day at work tomorrow. I'm gonna try to go to the gym tomorrow I think...but it really depends on how I feel and how the roads are and such. Anyway...I was bored without Rich here to talk to...so thought I'd give an update on the first day of my full time working career. Soon you'll see my byline!! It'll be exciting!! lol...anyway, be back in a few days probably. Have a great week!

One More Week

So I officially have one more week until I start working full time. I'm excited for a few reasons. One I know I'll have a steady income coming in. Two I won't be bored during the day anymore, which lately I have been because I have nothing to do. Like tonight I was granted the night off, might be nice...but I've been bored all day...what am I gonna do tonight but be bored? I'm also nervous about doing something new. But the guy I've been talking to seems nice, so that's half the battle I guess. Anyway...one week to go...that's it...

Just some things

I've been bored the past few days...not doing much but sitting around...and if you know me, you know I hate doing that. I'm sure I'll miss it once I start this job and am never home anymore. But I've been so bored I wanted to share some new poems with you. Let me know what you think...and be honest!! Love Is A Touch Love is a touch, a gentle embrace A smile, a laugh, a simple grace Love is soft skin upon your own Love is never being alone Love is patient, Love is pure Love is one thing I know for sure Love keeps us close, my friends and I Love never ends, though we may die Love is a tear, shed without hate Love is a heartbeat, felt too late Love is a feather from an angel's wing Love is the means by which we sing Love is wind, Love is rain It is truth, faith, hope and pain Love is blind, Love has no bound Love is silence, Love is sound Love is you, Love is me Love is one small word - we Love is my blind faith in you Love is a word best felt by two Thinking About You I can't stop thinking about you Wondering if you think of me too I can't stop thinking of your lips How soft they are between mine I can't stop imagining your hands As they caress my every hair and limb I can't stop thinking of your face How I love it and it thanks me in return I can't stop thinking of your voice As sexy as the body it possesses I can't stop feeling your touch all over me My temperature rises and emotions explode I can't stop thinking of how much I want you How much I need you No matter what I do I can't stop thinking about you Longing I long tofeel the warmth of your skin You hand, reaching for mine I get lost in the tenderness of your touch Your caress ignites my senses, and softly whispers, I Love You. I long to see the glow in your eyes, Your stare, connecting with mine. I get lost in the boundless depths of your soul Your gaze frees my spirit, and softly whispers, I Love You. I long to taste the sweetness of your kiss, Your lips, gently brushing mine. I get lost in the intensity of your emotions Your passion captures my heart, and softly whispers, I Love You.

Landed It

So I didn't post about my job interviews like I had promised. Sorry about that...been pretty busy. The Herkimer Interview went well. I had to do a writing test, which I thought was pretty easy. The OD Interview was the one that I loved. They are starting to go more high-tech and have been having reporters shoot some footage and learn to edit it using Avid. Things I all did in H-Triple-C...and would love to put my Radio/TV experience with my Journalism experience. Two days after my interview at Herkimer I got a call from the guy I met with...he offered me the position. So I had some thinking to do. I talked to the guy from the OD and he told me to take the position at the Herkimer Evening Telegram and get the experience behind me, and he would stay in touch with me about possible positions with the OD. So even if it's 6 months down the line...maybe eventually I'll work at the OD. So I took the position in Herkimer. As of Feb. 5 I will be a full-time reporter. Never thought I would be doing the reporting full time. Should be interesting. I'm kind of nervous and anxious, but after a few weeks I'm sure I'll be more comfortable with my position. I just hope I love doing it full-time. We'll see. So tomorrow I'm heading on into the station to give my notice to WIBX and to talk to my boss for Lite. I already told him I got the position, so he wanted to talk to me more about it. Bottom line...I'm excited to be finally doing something full time, but at the same time this new chapter of my life brings some concerns and more stress...things I won't go into this time...maybe later. We'll see what happens and I'll keep you posted.

Full Time

So I've been looking for a full time job as most of you know. Radio is not the easiest business to get anything full time in...so I went to the Reporting end of things. Working at WIBX has really opened me up to the possibility of doing that full time. I applied to 3 different newspapers for full time positions hoping that something would come out. Out of the 3, I got 2 calls and therefore have 2 interviews lined up for Monday and Tuesday of this week. I'm excited but nervous. I just hope something can come out of it so I can start doing this full time thing and making enough to pay my bills. Problem is it would take time away from being able to go see Rich. I know, not the end of the world, but I just miss being able to be with him. After 2 days of being able to be with him...it hurts when I can't. I would have to cut back at the station...but for a full time job I'm willing to do that. I'll probably be posting both tomorrow and Tuesday to let you know how the interviews go. Anyway, that's it for this time...catch ya on the flip side...

Winter Finally?

Wow...so for the past couple of weeks we in Central New York and up and down the East coast have been having 50 or 60 degree weather...which is record breaking weather. It's January...and normally we have had tons of snow by now...we had a green Christmas and New Years, barely making an inch here or an inch there before melting. Instead, it seems that Colorado and those places to the West have been getting the snow we should be having. Enter in...yesterday. The forecast was calling for 2 to 7 inches in our area, and places North and South anywhere from 10 to 18 inches. Well I think we only got a couple inches around here. But it looks so peaceful when it snows!! That's the only good thing about snow and winter in my opinion. I've been spoiled with the weather we've been having...now it's in the 20's with snow on the ground and snow still coming down. But again, it's supposed to be in the 40's this weekend...so I have a feeling most of it is going to melt anyway. The pictures here are what it loos like outside the house right now. It's pretty, and the streets actually look not too bad, which is good since I have to go out soon. Anway, long story short...we've lucked out this winter...guess it's time for the white stuff to fall...only a few months left of winter!!

So What's The Deal?

So you ever watch the show Deal or No Deal? Good show...I love to see people lose...I know I'm mean, but I think it's funny that they get so greedy and then the bank offer goes down to like $800 or something...it's great. Well this post...has nothing to do with that show...it was just on my mind so thought I would put it out there...it's my blog...I can do that if I want...lol. Anyways, I didn't work much last week because being a holiday week there wasn't much going on at night so I got 3 days off in a row, and I was bored out of my mind. Although, being off, I did get 4 resumes and cover letters out looking for a full time job...these were all in journalism or television. We'll see what happens with them. Also last week I was not able to get to sleep very easily...I have no idea why...but I had to take Benadryl or I couldn't sleep...I wonder if it's stress. As I mentioned before I take in just enough money to pay my bills...could the stress behind that be keeping me up at night? I do know that I generally have trouble sleeping when I am under a lot of stress. Usually when I'm tired of working...this was different though. I just laid in bed, tossed and turned for 2 hours or so and stuff just ran through my head. Lots of stuff...nothing inparticular. I just couldn't get my brain to stop thinking...and I know that's what keeps me up. I just wonder why? I don't know...all I do know is it really sucks. This week I'm just looking forward to Friday...I need time away, with Rich and Terry and not thinking about anything pertaining to work for a day. Is that possible? Probably not...but I'm hoping I can make it work. Maybe that's my problem also. I don't spend enough time doing stuff I wanna do. I stay at home and clean, do laundry, run errands, I don't get to do anything FOR me. Maybe I need to work on doing that more often. Going to a movie, or out to see Rich, or shopping with the money I don't have. Just an observation on my part...is it possible? Probably not...I don't have enough time in a day to do "me" stuff. I do go to the gym every other day or so...and I do enjoy that and feel better after working out...I think I need to make a special effort at least once a week to do something for me. I'll let you know how bad that fails coming up. Hope you have a great week...and since I can't...go do something for yourself this week!!

New Year

So I haven't checked in in a month...and that's a long time for me. I've tried to check in at least every week...but lately work has had me hectic as ever. With the holidays, full timers of course are always off and that leaves us part time workers working more than ever...doing live shifts, voicetracking, writing news stories...seems like it's never ending sometimes. But now it is 12:20 in the morning on New Years Day. So first and foremost Happy New Year and I hope your 2007 is everything you hope it to be. Hope you make and keep your resolutions, whatever they may be. What were you doing at midnight? Partying with friends, at Times Square to watch the ball drop, in a hot tub drinking wine? The last one is what I was doing at midnight with my family. Yes we are insane...especially since it was FREEZING RAIN out...and my God it was cold!! We started the tradition last year and this year had my sister and her boyfriend home to join in the festivities...to top it off we were listening to my voicetracks on the radio...it was a good way to kick off the new year. Although...I was a little upset I didn't get to spend it with Rich, but when distance is an issue there's not much you can do about it. I make do and spend it with family and friends. So 2007...my main goal is to find a full time job. I can't keep paying my bills if I don't get either a full time job or a fourth part time job. I'm so freaking stressed about it too after counting my expenses this past month and what I actually made in relation to that...I'm getting kind of worried that I'm not going to be able to make it. Then what do I do? Another goal (yes I don't call them resolutions...goal is a more realistic term) is to lose weight...I'll continue at the gym and keep trying to watch what I eat...hopefully it'll pay off...I notice a difference when I work out and it makes me feel better about myself...so gonna try to keep that up this year. Moving on to IBX...I'm getting some positive praise from co-workers and my boss...but I just don't have fun there anymore. Not that every job should be fun...but writing for me always used to be fun...now I'm getting to not like doing it much...reason for not posting much lately. I hate that I'm starting to hate what I love. I used to write poems and short stories and fiction all the time...now I can't get the motivation because I have to do it on a daily basis. To me...that's not good. Hence the reason I really need to get a full time job...spending almost 7 days at the stations for relatively low pay is really wearing me out and starting to irritate me. What can I do though? Anyway...HAPPY NEW YEAR!! It's 2007 live it up...enjoy it...

Here Again...

So I finally show my face around here again. Was going to check in last week, but work kept me very busy...among other things. So hope you had a great Thanksgiving and was able to spend it with the ones you love. Just a few updates...I worked a lot. Was on the air Wednesday and Thursday filling in for vacationing people over the holidays. Friday I went out for WIBX on Black Friday to cover shopping. Was out at the mall at 4:30 in the morning...yes...I was insane!! Traffic was nearly impossible to navigate around 6. The plus side is, I did 6 live remotes for WIBX and everyone that had heard them said I sounded great...so I think that's good that my boss now knows I can do it. Maybe I'll get more on air work because of that. Not thinking it'll happen, but I can wish can't I? I actually had a conversation with my boss over at Lite about a few things. In a nutshell, it was about me not getting the hours when people took days off...and you can say that it's not up to me whether I get the hours or not...it's up to my boss...and trust me I know that. I was irritated and kind of upset that back in September he told me that I would get any extra hours that became available...and then a few weeks ago I didn't get them...so yes I was upset. I think we're ok now though, I think we came to an understanding, and we're still speaking to each other which is good. I don't like having to confront a boss, but I thought it should be out in the open. So that's that for the time being. I'm going on a mini-vacation this weekend and I really can't wait! I don't get to see Rich for two weeks which is going to literally kill me...but I need to get out of this place for a little while. So that's the update for the time being...nothing else to report on for a little bit...until next time...see ya!!

WEEEE

So like the new banner at the type of my page? That would be compliments of my boyfriend. I'm not artistic enough to do something like that myself...lol. So anyway, I've been working my ass off lately...getting really tired of dealing with news. This week hasn't been too bad...the meetings have been pretty short and they aren't the same things that I hate covering. It's been a big budget week around here...so that's kind of interesting in a sense. I haven't been in that great of a mood this week...one of my bosses has irritated me, plus I think I'm coming down with a cold. My throat has been killing me for three days, my nose runs off and on throughout the day and I sneeze and cough...it's really quite annoying...and just makes my days even worse. I did however get most of my Christmas shopping finished yesterday...so one less thing I have to worry about. Nothing else really going on...I'll probably put an update up next week around the holiday time if I get some time between working.

Election Day 2006

So Election Day is finally over. Something that probably pleases me more then a lot of other people. Obviously I'm sure people are happy to have the commercials done and know that changes have been made...hopefully for the better. My election day consisted of a really long night and a very tiring following day. It was fun to be out in the field watching the coverage and listening to the results coming in. The station was still hopping at 1 in the morning...which is very unusual for us...a real news staff was on hand to cover all major events. When I got tired around midnight I still ran on the high from the past few hours. News can do that. For me...that's become the only good thing about news. Meeting some great people and seeing the high it can give you when you cover certain events. Then there's the other side of it where you have to cover the hard things...like when I first started and a local police officer was killed...covering those news conferences was the hardest thing...plus I had just started in news...so for me it was a complete shock. I just don't think news is what I want to do full time...especially since they don't let me go on the air. That's my passion. I love being on the air. As I mentioned before, I get a rush every time I get to go on the air...that never changes. So holidays are coming up. I love the holidays...the smell from the baking I get to do, the peace of the snow blanketing the earth, the shopping for people I love, getting to see family...the holidays never get old. I love this time of the year...I get to be on the radio more then just weekends...so obviously I'll be keeping you posted about the holidays as they come upon us and about work...as for the full time job...didn't get the one I was really hoping for...now I'm at a loss. I've applied for many more...it's just a matter of hearing back from them. It's depressed me a little though...news is just not fun to go into anymore. But we'll see what happens...one thing I know for sure...I need a damn vacation!! Until next time, Peace...and stay warm!!

Update

This is just going to be one of those quick update things. I've been very busy lately...haven't had a day off in a few weeks. I do however get Tuesday off...so I get to go trick or treating with Rich and his daughter. I think that'll be fun and get my mind off of stuff I don't want to be doing anymore. Election day is just around the corner, and I dread having to cover them for WIBX. I'm gonna be at the station until at least midnight, probably later. And I'll have to talk to people I really don't want to talk to. I also joined a gym last week which I think might take some stress out of me. I need to get in shape anyway, and it'll get me out of the house during the day and giving me something to do in the winter when all you wanna do is stay inside and eat. So my diet officially starts today. That basically means no fast food, no snacks, no soda...I'm cutting it all out...I'm going to do my best to eat healthy. I'm actually going to the gym for the first time today. So I'm excited that I'm starting this. As for a full-time job, still working on that. Nothing has worked yet...but I haven't heard anything about the one I interviewed for. They haven't hired anyone yet though. So who knows...not me...lol. Ok...guess that was my quick update. Gonna finish my coffee and head off to the gym.

Is The Week Over Yet?

So this week has been hell to say the least. My God...I have been going through it in like a blur...just going through the motions and not really feeling anything or knowing what I've been doing. It's a week like this that I know I need to get a full time job!! Working my ass off this week at three jobs is just too much for me. It's finally started to settle down...I just have to make it through today...then I can relax tomorrow. One day off...before starting another hell session. I would be remiss not to point out though...that today I have an interview for a full time job. It's not in my field of Broadcasting...but it would get me started and I would make more money and get benefits...and to top it off...I'd be able to drop two other jobs. The job is actually at the place of one of my jobs...I'm a food service aide currently at LutheranCare...I have applied and am interviewing for an administrative secretary job. It would definitely get me on the right track. I would stay at Lite on weekends (not sure if I'd work Sundays though...think I might need a day off there somewhere). I would drop my food service job obviously, and I would drop WIBX. I know I have truly grown at both Lite and IBX...but lately...IBX isn't fun anymore. Apparently my stories aren't completely up to par...and it takes begging on my part to get my boss to finally sit down with me to go over them. How can I improve if I don't know what I'm doing wrong? So IBX is just unneeded stress right now. I dread everyday I have to go in there...who wants to feel that way about their job? The people I work with there at night...are awesome! I have to point that part out...so I'd miss them if I leave...but I have to start thinking about myself. It has been too long since I've actually sat down and said "What does Kim really want?" The answer to that question doesn't come too easy these days. I used to wonder what I wanted. I know back in high school...when I was this shy girl who wouldn't speak up if my life depended on it...all I wanted was to make it through and graduate. I was never a good student in school, almost completely flunking out of my 10th grade year. Math and Science were not for me...but when I took Creative Writing, Journalism and Public Speaking in my senior year...I was right at home. I determined I wanted to do something in that field or one related to it. Going to HCCC was the best decision I ever made. I made some life long friends and being in Radio/TV you had to talk...I opened up so much and at the end of my second year there when I was getting ready to graduate I was voted "Most Improved" at the Poobie Awards. It was at that point that I knew things were coming together and I would be ok. When I was offered a part time job at Lite 98.7 in November of my senior year...I was ecstatic. I mean...the number one station in the market, and they wanted me? Of course...overnights were very difficult, but everyone had to start somewhere. I look back at how much I've accomplished during the three years I've been at Lite. From overnights I moved in to Sunday nights, when they used to be live I did 8-midnight. That was hard, because the next morning I had an 8 o'clock class...which needless to say I didn't do too well in. From there I started filling in on holidays, when there weren't any contests or request hours to do. After that...I was doing some Saturdays and then some Sundays, and still doing overnights at least once a month. When our PD changed in September 2005, I still did the occasional overnight, and some Saturdays and Sundays again. In January of this year...I started filling in every other week for the All 80's Saturday night, which is a 4 hour request show. That gave me tons of experience on phones and requests, and after I graduated in May of this year I started filling in tons for people vacationing and while they were looking for a new mid-day person. So I am trained on every shift except for mornings...Mark can keep those...hehe. Now, I work every Saturday and Sunday, every holiday, and usually when people are on vacation. So that's my background at Lite...think I've grown? Oh yeah...not just as a person...but as a personality. Personality is everything for a DJ...and I've started to try to polish mine to sound unique and different. So that brings me back to the question..."What does Kim want?" I haven't actually thought about that for awhile. I'm not looking long term anymore. What do I want right now? I want a full time job for one. My student loans start up in December and as of now...I'm not going to be making enough to pay all of my bills. That's where the full time job comes in. What else do I want? I want to be able to hang out with my friends more often. As of now...I never go out or do anything because I'm working so much and either exhausted or don't have time. Another thing I really want right now is to be able to see my boyfriend more then just once a week. This may seem like a little thing to you...but I only see him at work. We don't get to go out and do anything, or just cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie. And every time I get ready to leave the station and know it's another week before I see him again...it becomes harder and harder. The final thing I want is a vacation. Not just a weekend vacation that's coming up in December for me...but a full blown week vacation from everything. Don't know where right now...but I don't just want it...I need it. I have been working since May of this year without getting more then one day off at a time, with a few exceptions. Many of those days I pulled doubles or triples, working at more then one job in a day. Would you be stressed? I sure as hell am. So wish me luck at my interview today...as you can tell, I need a full time job!! And I pose the question...is this week over yet? :-(

Where Did This Come From?

Ok...so there hasn't really been that much focus on school shootings since Columbine. So what the hell is going on this year? Three school shootings in the past week, and two more "gun in school" threats yesterday. Apparently 18 kids have died in school shootings since the beginning of school...and school started three weeks ago!! I don't know that I get it. Why do kids hurt other kids...or for that matter...why does anyone take the lives of innocent children? I don't think I'll ever understand why schools can't be safe anymore. That's all I'm gonna say...

Just Remember I Love You

Ok...so I've had a bad couple of weeks. Things have started to become a little better...but there are times lately where I just kind of feel like I'm alone. I just keep telling myself that things will get better. I know I have people around who love me...it's just I work so much that I don't get to see anyone that I love anymore. Ironically enough...on my way back to the station from an event I was covering a few nights ago, I heard a song that kind of hit home for me. It was on the station I work at...so I've played it before...but I guess the words never hit me as much as they did that night...and today it almost seems approprite after that deadly school shooting in Colorado today...anyway, the song was Firefall's "Just Remember I Love You." When it all goes crazy and the thrill is gone When the days get rainy and the nights get long When you get that feeling you were born to lose Starin' at your ceiling feelin' the blues Have you ever had that feeling that your life is spinning out of control? Ever just want to stay curled up in bed and let the world just pass you by for that one day? Ever wonder if your life really was worth anything? When there's so much trouble that you want to cry When your love has crumbled and you don't know why When your hopes are fading and they can't be found Dreams have left you waiting friends let you down Have you ever felt that everything around you wouldn't go your way? That the people you love really aren't there for you? Everything you used to dream just wasn't going to come true? Everything you've ever known that you wanted suddenly seems so far out of reach? Well just remember I love you And it'll be alright Just remember I love you All that I can say just remember I love you Maybe all your blues will fade away Know no matter where you are or what you're doing or how bad your life seems at the time, people are always there for you. People always love you. Someone out there is always thinking about you at some point in time. Maybe you need a lover and you're down so low And you start to wonder but you never know When it seems like sorrow is your only friend Knowing that tomorrow you'll feel this way again Ever had weeks of not feeling like you could escape? Just wanting to be with the people you love? Ever drown your sorrows in one way or another hoping the next day will be better then the last? When the blues come cryin' at the break of dawn When the rain keeps fallin' but the rainbow's gone When you feel like cryin' but the tears won't come Then your dreams are dyin' when you're on the run Ever feel like running away from everything but realize you have no where else to go? Ever stand in the rain so it would hide your tears and hurt? Just remember... Just remember I love you And it'll be alright Just remember I love you All that I can say just remember I love you Maybe all your blues will wash away No matter how hard a situation gets remember people love you. What is the point of doing something drastic to yourself or someone else? At least once during a day you cross the mind of another person. Doesn't mean you can't have your bad days...just means that everyone is loved. You may not know it...but you are. You just have to realize it.

Here Again

Today is pretty much just a day to get some poems off my chest...so read...enjoy...and figure out for yourself what they're about...

Missing You

My heart aches within from missing you,

My lips long for the feel of kissing you,

Right now all I need is to gently touch your skin,

To look into your eyes and see deep within,

Just one warm embrace,

Just to look upon your face,

Just one little touch,

From the one I love so much,

If I could gaze upon your smile,

For just a little while,

To know that you miss me too,

As I'm thinking of you,

To hear the sound of you breathe,

Knowing you'll never leave,

To see you walk up to me,

Then embrace you tenderly,

To just be with the one who's sent my heart reeling,

And brought about this downpour of emotion and feeling,

I sit here alone tonight,

And pray that somehow this all turns out right,

I've never been one to do more taking than giving,

I'm not well off but I work hard for a living,

I've told you many thoughts that weren't borrowed or bought,

And in lifetime, who would have thought,

That I have found someone who was just meant for me,

I can't explain the magic or why this should be,

But there is one thing that I know for certain,

That this just ain't over till one of us draws the final curtain,

For I've seen an angel and I want you to know,

If it's my choice to make, I'll never let you go,

Don't know what life holds, maybe there's no reason or rhyme,

To think you may be mine in a matter of time,

And though I cannot touch you and we are now apart,

My Love, you do dwell, so deep within my heart.

Long Distance Love

When it hurts so bad,

why does it feel so good?

I wish this all made sense,

I wish I understood.

Not having you here with me is tearing me up inside,

but I can't stop thinking about you no matter how hard I try.

You know how I feel about you,

and I know I want to spend my time with you,

but it's so hard to do when I can't even be next to you.

Why does it gotta be so complicated?

Loving you feels so right,

but at the same time,

knowing I can't have you keeps me awake at night.

I just want this to be simple,

I just want you here with me,

to look into your eyes,

be held in your arms...then I'd truly be happy.

Right now this distance between us is out of our control,

but I'm still hoping one day soon,

I'll get what I'm wishing for.

A Sunday

So Sunday's are generally boring for me...I'm working most of them now...and it gets so boring at the station trying to figure out what to do. It gives me time to think...but today that's the last thing I want to do. I'll get into that after I explain the week I've had... Tuesday I had to work primaries for WIBX. That was actually exciting and I was live on IBX for the first time...I felt the same rush I do when I get ready to go on the air for Lite. Anyway, I worked mid-days on Tuesday first, then came back in at 9 and worked until midnight...which was kind of cool because I worked into my birthday which was Wednesday. Everyone wished me a Happy Birthday at midnight...so that moves me into my birthday. Had kind of a relaxing day...I opened my presents before I went back in to work...then I came home and had some cake...which was awesome. Thursday was stressful...on 4 hours of sleep I had to work 6-2 and then had to go back in at 4:30...needless to say I slept good after that day. Friday I was off and did some cleaning and stuff around the house that I had been meaning to do but hadn't had time to do. Back to working Lite yesterday, today, all next week and again next Saturday and Sunday. So that's going to be a busy week coming up. But that was generally my busy week in a nutshell...2 doubles last week...and on day 2 of a 20 day working stretch. And as I mentioned it's a Sunday. Sometimes I actually look forward to a Sunday. It's piece and quiet...away from everything...just have the music going in the background and a book to read, sometimes I do some thinking. Today, I want to stop thinking. No good can come from thinking today. I want to say I'm confused and that's why I'm thinking so much...but I don't think that is completely the truth. I guess first I should mention that I'm a very emotional person...I cry during movies all the time...some songs will make me cry if they remind me of an event or person. When I get upset with my parents...I don't get mad and slam doors...I cry...it's just a part of me. Well last night I laid in bed and thoughts started surrounding my head...but I was tired of enough that I was able to go to bed pretty quickly. This morning...woke up and played some of my Game Cube...then started thinking again...and some of things I was thinking started to upset me. I don't know what my problem is today. Maybe it's because I'm now 22 and I do wonder where my life is headed. I love my job...and not many people can say that about their jobs, but yeah I feel like I'm being used sometimes. Many people in broadcasting can vouch for that feeling. I love my boyfriend and am happy when I'm around him...and not many people can say that they get the feeling. Maybe I'm upset because I don't get to see him more often...leaving him becomes harder and harder...maybe I'm upset because a lot of the time...we only get to see each other when we're at work. Neither of us can afford to keep driving back and forth with gas prices the way they are. Maybe all of these things combined are starting to make me skeptical about what I really want. I wish I knew exactly what I wanted. One thing I know is I want to stop thinking. For the most part I'm happy with where my life is...I don't have a full time job, which is the one thing I'm lacking right now...but I have a few part time jobs that I really love doing...I just wish my mom would stop nagging me about getting something full time...right now I'm fine. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months...and he's the one person that is able to keep me sane when I pull double or triple shifts. So you see...I'm happy for the most part with my life...so you wonder why I'm getting upset or doing all this thinking? I don't know...maybe it's because it's a Sunday and I have nothing else to do. No...that's not it...there's more to it...and that's what I'm hoping to figure out sometime this week...

9-11 We Will Never Forget

I would be remiss not to write a little on the five year anniversary of those fateful terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. If you noticed, in the post previous to this...which I also posted today, I didn't mention anything about the attacks. There's a reason for that. I'm not saying we shouldn't remember and reflect on the day that changed America forever. For me, there's a reason that I want to try to put the day aside and not keep bringing it up. It puts a damper on my birthday every year. Maybe you think that's selfish of me, and maybe it is, but the entire week is generally dedicated to 9-11. I have always looked forward to my birthday...it's my Christmas. And ever since my senior year in high school...that changed. Don't think that I don't reflect on what happened five years ago. Today I had the privilege of going to a couple 9-11 related events...and they were moving to say the least. But bottom line is...I do remember what happened...and I still remember those who lost their lives fighting for our freedom. Now I will post the poem that I wrote 5 years ago about the terrorist attacks. It was published in a few local publications...and is my best poem to date...so sit back, read and reflect on what 9-11 means to you and all Americans!!

Who Am I Kimberly Dunne I am no one special. I’m the little boy that gives up his favorite teddy bear so that a stranger might be comforted. I’m the single mother who has been trying to teach her child to sleep in their own bed, who holds them tight long into the night, thanking God it wasn’t her child that died. I’m the old man, angry and resentful that his military doesn’t want him because of his age. I’m the teenage girl that spends hours cutting ribbons for others to wear as a symbol of remembrance. I’m the young man who doesn’t understand why his father was running up the stairs as the building fell, trying to save just one more person, instead of saving himself. I’m the old woman who will never see her grandchild again. I’m the little girl, playing with her doll, who can’t understand when someone screams hateful things at her because of where her family is from. I’m the police officer, trying to keep idiotic reporters safe, when his wife is still among the missing. I’m the fire fighter that called in sick that day, only to discover that someone else died in his place. I’m the man who survived the falling building only to learn that his sister and baby niece were in the plane. I’m the secretary, angered by the seemingly callous response of those around her. I’m a spelunker, who is climbing down into the remains of a building, hoping to find someone still alive. I’m the dog handler, searching for bodies, that has to comfort my animal when only death remains. I’m the woman who stands in line for five hours in order to give blood, hoping to help strangers in need. I’m the man who gets up and goes to work every day, in spite of the tragedy, because he still has a family to feed. I’m the first passenger to get back on a plane, even though I’m terrified, because I know somebody has to be first. Who am I? I’m nobody special. I’m just an American.

Weekend & stuff...

So I had a weekend off this past weekend...I don't remember the last time I had a full weekend off. Trust me I treasured this past weekend because I have a feeling it's not going to happen again anytime soon. Let me explain...I didn't get the full time position on Lite. They did however hire one of the other part-timers which was the next best thing. Therefore, he's been moved to full time and we're down a part-timer and now I'll be working every Saturday and Sunday for awhile I think...I don't completely mind...but when I don't have another day off during the week, or I just get Friday's off, it makes for a very long week...and not enough time for myself. Anyway, that's the main reason I treasured this past weekend...another reason would be I got to spend it with Rich and Terry. Now I'm spoiled and I know Saturday won't come fast enough. Now I have to go back to only seeing him once a week...and that took a toll on me last month when we went a week or two without seeing each other. Ugh...yeah I know...it sounds lame...but I'm in love and there's nothing else that can be done about that. So primaries are tomorrow...gonna be a VERY long day for me. I have to do mid-days on Lite and then I have to cover elections...I'll be at one of the candidates for Senate headquarters. I get to do live updates on the air...so I'll be nervous about that...but at the same time excited. It's actually kind of fun being out amongst all the action waiting to hear poll results hearing the low buzz of anticipation. It's really a rush...although I will be at the station until well after midnight I anticipate...and that runs into my birthday...which sucks for me...but trust me...EVERYONE will know it's my birthday when midnight rolls around...hehe... Which brings me to the subject of my birthday!! hehe...yeah 2 days...get me something good!! lol...I'll leave it at that for the time being...but don't let me have to hunt you down to get my gift :-)