A Sunday

So Sunday's are generally boring for me...I'm working most of them now...and it gets so boring at the station trying to figure out what to do. It gives me time to think...but today that's the last thing I want to do. I'll get into that after I explain the week I've had... Tuesday I had to work primaries for WIBX. That was actually exciting and I was live on IBX for the first time...I felt the same rush I do when I get ready to go on the air for Lite. Anyway, I worked mid-days on Tuesday first, then came back in at 9 and worked until midnight...which was kind of cool because I worked into my birthday which was Wednesday. Everyone wished me a Happy Birthday at midnight...so that moves me into my birthday. Had kind of a relaxing day...I opened my presents before I went back in to work...then I came home and had some cake...which was awesome. Thursday was stressful...on 4 hours of sleep I had to work 6-2 and then had to go back in at 4:30...needless to say I slept good after that day. Friday I was off and did some cleaning and stuff around the house that I had been meaning to do but hadn't had time to do. Back to working Lite yesterday, today, all next week and again next Saturday and Sunday. So that's going to be a busy week coming up. But that was generally my busy week in a nutshell...2 doubles last week...and on day 2 of a 20 day working stretch. And as I mentioned it's a Sunday. Sometimes I actually look forward to a Sunday. It's piece and quiet...away from everything...just have the music going in the background and a book to read, sometimes I do some thinking. Today, I want to stop thinking. No good can come from thinking today. I want to say I'm confused and that's why I'm thinking so much...but I don't think that is completely the truth. I guess first I should mention that I'm a very emotional person...I cry during movies all the time...some songs will make me cry if they remind me of an event or person. When I get upset with my parents...I don't get mad and slam doors...I cry...it's just a part of me. Well last night I laid in bed and thoughts started surrounding my head...but I was tired of enough that I was able to go to bed pretty quickly. This morning...woke up and played some of my Game Cube...then started thinking again...and some of things I was thinking started to upset me. I don't know what my problem is today. Maybe it's because I'm now 22 and I do wonder where my life is headed. I love my job...and not many people can say that about their jobs, but yeah I feel like I'm being used sometimes. Many people in broadcasting can vouch for that feeling. I love my boyfriend and am happy when I'm around him...and not many people can say that they get the feeling. Maybe I'm upset because I don't get to see him more often...leaving him becomes harder and harder...maybe I'm upset because a lot of the time...we only get to see each other when we're at work. Neither of us can afford to keep driving back and forth with gas prices the way they are. Maybe all of these things combined are starting to make me skeptical about what I really want. I wish I knew exactly what I wanted. One thing I know is I want to stop thinking. For the most part I'm happy with where my life is...I don't have a full time job, which is the one thing I'm lacking right now...but I have a few part time jobs that I really love doing...I just wish my mom would stop nagging me about getting something full time...right now I'm fine. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months...and he's the one person that is able to keep me sane when I pull double or triple shifts. So you see...I'm happy for the most part with my life...so you wonder why I'm getting upset or doing all this thinking? I don't know...maybe it's because it's a Sunday and I have nothing else to do. No...that's not it...there's more to it...and that's what I'm hoping to figure out sometime this week...