With both Taylor Swift and Britney Spears releasing new albums, it's time we thought about teen idols, doncha think?
Who doesn't love a teen idol? After all, they're so young! And as we age and slowly become decrepit, we look back at our youth and wonder at the innocence of it all. For the most part, I tried to stick with performers who were actual teenangers when they inspired their peers. However, Davy Jones was clearly a bit older when he swooned Marcia Brady's heart and he is the very definition of a teen idol, as was David Cassidy. These days, we're much better at making sure oru teen idols are teenagers. Or at least were teenagers. Funny thing is they eventually grow up - like Britney. And develop into fine, fine citizens of the world. Or not.
Anyhow ranking them seems a little silly. I know from past experience that many of you dear readers will complain about someone's position on the list. I sympathize. If I woke up tomorrow to do this ranking system it would come out differently. There are no hard, fast rules here. Just me typing a name out and thinking that it looks nice in that spot. Or someone's got to be cut from this list. And since most of the people appearing on the list didn't get back to me about some "bonus" issues, well, we'll just let karma and fate and my accountant settle things once and for all.
No matter how you feel about these people, please remember to brush your teeth at least twice a day and stay away from those sugary snacks. Wheat thins are in! And careful with that cell phone. Who know if it really causes brain cancer? I'd hate tobe on the wrong side of that argument, which is why I prefer the U.S. Mail. Write a letter to your friends instead.
25) 98 Degrees: I remember when a friend of mine was telling me about these guys. His daughters were really into them. But he kept calling them 38 Degrees and I kept wondering what was the significance of being six degrees above freezing. (EDITORS NOTE: Ok so I was, as many teenagers were, a fan of 98 Degrees. Even saw them in concert, 4 rows back at the NYS Fair. Was it fair to say they should make this list? Yeah I think so)
24) Tiffany: We just featured Tiff in our "Where Are They Now?" column and she's still out there remaking herself as a danceclub diva. But back in the 1980s she was the girl next door singing at the mall, raking in the money and making you wonder why your band couldn't get that gig. After all, you didn't need Tommy James covers, you'd written an entire concept album called The Mind of Walter. (EDITORS NOTE: So I only know Tiffany through some of her music that I've heard but I've also read articles and see that she was a pretty big artist in the 80's and she may deserve the Teen Idol status)
23) Brandy: I went looking to find out more about this wonderful singer and came across this information: "She is the sister of singer and actor William Raymond Norwood and a cousin of blues singer Bo Diddley and rapper Snoop Dogg." Is this true? If so, is everyone in the music business related? I've heard we're each other's brother and sister, but this is taking things too far. (EDITORS NOTE: Brandy is a wonderful singer and artist, however making the Teen Idol list I think may be a stretch)
22) New Kids On The Block: These kids were huge in their day and these days they can't even get a reality TV show, can they? I'm told they released a new album this year. Did anyone notice? I'm told the album debuted at #1 on the charts and has gone Gold. But who bought it? Teens? Fully grown adults who remember them back when? Who are these people? (EDITORS NOTE: I remember when my sister was hooked on New Kids, I was still a little too young to follow them. Do they deserve this? Yes I think they do. But as for the comeback this year, what are they looking for Teen Idol status all over again? Give me a break)
21) Frankie Lymon: His life was tragic. "Why Do Fools Fall In Love?" guaranteed him success and then his voice changed and the people who managed him weren't very good to him and he was introduced to heroin and he died of an overdose at 25. Sometimes success isn't exactly success. Hey, Artie Lange, keep an eye on yourself (we went to high school together, this is true!) (EDITORS NOTE: Never heard of him, so Teen Idol status, think it's overrated for him)
20) Shaun Cassidy: His amazing version of "Da Doo Ron Ron" remains one of pop music's all-time classics and certainly everyone should own a copy. If you don't, do not pass. Go, do not collect $200 and go directly to jail!" (EDITORS NOTE: I haven't heard much about Shaun Cassidy, however what I have heard points in the direction that he deserve to be on this list)
19) Debbie Gibson: Deborah to us now. And recently featured in my "Where Are They Now?" column. She was the cleanest, most wholesome of the lot and then she poses in Playboy to shatter our image of her and to promote an album called Naked. You expect certain folks to do these things, but not our Little Debbie! (Great snack food, too.) (EDITORS NOTE: Debbie Gibson was definitely a huge pop star in the 80's and followed by droves of fans, so the recognition is well deserved I think)
18) Ricky Nelson: From The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet to more than 50 Top 100 Hits to "Garden Party" to siring two sons who would go on to '80's rock fame as Nelson, Ricky had done it all. He set the standard for others and yet never quite got the respect that many other less successful artists received. He should've filed a petition! (EDITORS NOTE: He didn't receive the recognition or the publicity, never heard a song from him)
17) *NSync: I guess any band with Justin Timberlake and Lance Bass should be considered a "Supergroup" of sorts. I mean, even I've heard of them and I wouldn't know these guys from Backstreet Boys, who I'm ranking higher because they have a better name, or 98 Degrees, who I ranked lower because of their lamer name. It's not an exact science, folks. (EDITORS NOTE: As a HUGE NSync fan and having been to 4 amazing concerts from them, I gotta say they deserve to be ranked higher. Maybe I'm a biased person, but anyone that can shut down every street surrounding the Today show building when they perform, or sell out a concert in a minute, or break records by the most one-day album sales ever, deserve a high ranking)
16) LeAnn Rimes: It's a shame she grew up because she made a great teenager. But we all knew it was bound to happen. We saw it happen with Alyssa Milano. So there was previous proof. She's currently 26! And she continues to have success - proving she wasn't just some teen flash-in-the-pan, but a force of a nature. (EDITORS NOTE: I have to agree with this one. LeAnn is amazing and continues to make albums and hits so this is a well-deserved recognition.)
15) Silverchair: I've already been taken to task for not realizing that these guys still had a career going after their first initial success. Damn. I should've known something was up when I saw they worked with Van Dyke Parks. That's not someone you call upon when you want a hit. That's who you call when you want prestige and to sell no records whatsoever. Unless you're the Beach Boys, then you call him because you want to get weird - and annoy Mike Love. (EDITORS NOTE: Can't comment on this one since I don't know this group)
14) Hanson: Who didn't think these guys were the best? They always looked uncomfortable and awkward and you figured the little drummer boy in the back would eventually become a terror. They had to know that "MmmBop" wasn't going to help them be taken seriously. Catchy tune. Big hit. But it's kind of like farting on your first date. Everyone remembers, but not everyone is impressed. (EDITORS NOTE: I'm a Hanson hater and think "MmmBop" was the dumbest song ever. They don't even deserve the title of musicians, let alone teen idol)
13) Backstreet Boys: Given the 13th position strictly because I like their name. They've sold over 120 million albums but not oen of them to me or anyone I know and I assume that most of those albums - CDs? - are now sitting in a landfill somewhere alongside my old computer and my Atari 2600. Damn, I miss that thing. (EDITORS NOTE: Backstreet deserve some recognition, but not this much - did they break any records? I think not)
12) Jonas Brothers: I've been to Wyckoff, New Jersey, so there's a chance that I once ran into these guys when they were little tykes probably trying to run me over with their tricycles. These days, they could buy and sell me. I just hope these talented young men are putting aways their money into smart, retirement plans because even though right now the horrors of old age may seem to be in the distant future it will come sooner than they think. But, hey, for now, let's celebrate! (EDITORS NOTE: Give me a break! The Jonas Brothers? Enough said...)
11) Taylor Swift: Maybe Joe Jonas can dump her in 27 seconds on the phone, but just for that we're putting her one spot ahead of those guys - to teach them a lesson! We here at List of the Day will not stand for guys breaking up with girls over the phone. That's what the mail is for! (EDITORS NOTE: Taylor is a talented young lady - just not when she sings Christmas songs - so recogntion while deserved)
10) Menudo: What I liked about this group was how you got kicked out after you got too old. It didn't matter what you had contributed, it was time to move on. Imagine if we could do that to all those old, senile high school teachers who keep reading from the same yellowed notes year after year. Or to the mail delivery person who no longer can remember which box is which and keeps giving my mail to the neighbors. Forced retirement at age 17 might seem a bit extreme, but reality burns sometimes. (EDITORS NOTE: Wasn't Ricky Matin in this group? Enough said...no recognition deserved there)
9) Donny and Marie: She was a little bit country and he was a little bit rock n' roll, and we do mean a little bit. These two had their own variety show that if I remember correctly was on Friday nights, which served as a reminder that you were HOME on a Friday night. They had so many teeth there should've been a dental inquiry. (EDITORS NOTE: Donny and Marie are very talented in their own right and I loved their show)
8) Lulu: I'm including her because of her name. It's a great one. And she was a teen star. And I'm figuring about 3 per cent of my reading public remember her. And the rest will just ignore this entry and move on to the one about Michael Jackson or maybe Avril. Our attention spans are like that. (EDITORS NOTE: Not one of the 3 percent, enough said)
7) Tanya Tucker: These days young ones are so much more commonplace but back in the 1970s, it was always as if they had "blue laws" stopping youth from happening. Tanya took over the country world with "Delta Dawn" at 13 and "Would You Lay With Me (In A Field Of Stone)" was among her hits that caused people to raise their eyebrows and wonder where the world was headed. They would've shuddered to learn about Gangsta Rap, that's for sure. (EDITORS NOTE: Never heard of her either)
6) Michael Jackson: Michael wasn't even a teen when he started his career. He had so much of a head start on everyone else it practically wasn't fair. That it turned out he had actual talent must've been a surprise to everyone. I mean, when a kid is nine, you can't map out what he'll be doing at 20 or 30. Weathermen can't even figure out what's going to happen in three days! (EDITORS NOTE: The "King of Pop" deserves to be recognized as a huge teen idol because that he was. If only he could stop turning white and keep his hands to himself)
5) David Cassidy: Another one of these guys who was a little old by today's standards. But he had that show - The Partridge Family - and maybe he wasn't always crazy about performing on the show but I'm pretty sure Willie Aames would've killed for that opportunity to perform regularly, as his band only got to perform once on Eight is Enough, which was a show that starred Dick Van Patten, an absolutely legend here at Y! Music. (EDITORS NOTE: David Cassidy was a teen idol in his day and I think he rightfully earned a spot as one of the top 25 of all-time)
4) Avril LaVigne: She made skater kids go mainstream and took the punk she found at the mall and went for it. I don't imagine she'll ever be teaming up with the guys from Fear or Black Flag, but then who knows? Weirder things have happened. And often do - if you live long enough. (EDITORS NOTE: Avril is a great artist and singer I think, but as for being this high up on the list, not so sure about that)
3) Miley Cyrus: I can't get over how much more teenager is left in this girl. It seems like she's been popular forever. I can baretly remember a world where she wasn't dominating the lunch box market. But then I can baretly remember where I put my shoes. (EDITORS NOTE: Give me a break! Miley this, Hannah Montana that, give me a break! See what happens to her when she grows up, another Britney perhaps?)
2) Britney Spears: Her song have always been catchy. Which when you're performing pop music really helps. And she's been controversial, which when you're performing pop music really helps. And she likes attention, which when you're performing pop music really helps. And we here at Y! Music really like her too which when you're performing pop music really helps. (EDITORS NOTE: Ok, so yes Britney deserve a spot on this list, but #2? Not sure about that. I've been second row at a Britney concert and do thinks she rocks in concert, but her life, not so much)
1) Davy Jones: This is where my own bias has to show. It's impossible to really determine a #1. So considering his A-1 performance of "Girl" on The Brady Bunch and his agreement to attend the prom with Marcia, well, what a swell guy. He did attend the prom with her, didn't he? (EDITORS NOTE: Not even close to being right on this one!)
Ok so that's the list...the only other things I have to add is, where are the other artists? You know The Beatles, The Monkees? The groups and artists who set the bar so high for some of these other so called "teen idols" Maybe someday I'll be inspired to put together my own list.
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