Sitting here...

So I'm just sitting here...and thinking. It's almost 5 p.m. on Sunday evening and I just finished a mini-crying break. I'm an emtional person and as I say sometimes you just need to cry. I wish I didn't need to or that I could prevent other people from seeing that I need to. But no such luck.

This has been a weekend I have been looking forward to for a long time. I had my company Christmas party Saturday, open bar, great food and a DJ, it was definitely great. I do wish my mouth felt a little better. I'm back on my pain pills and it's throbbing again and I don't know why, but the weekend was set to be amazing.

Today was my alumni brunch and it was great getting to see friends and meet some new people and have some great food. The best part about the entire weekend was I got to do it all with Rich, which makes me happy. The only time I am happy lately is when I get to be with him, outside of work. We also went Christmas shopping after the brunch, which was also great.

So why the crying? Well Rich left about a half hour ago, and yeah I don't like that, but that's not what upset me. It's something he said as we were driving home from the mall. His dad is not happy with him spending all this money in gas to come up here to work...or see me. This coming Friday he said he would come up here and we would go out shopping so he could do some more of his Christmas shopping, but then he got to talking about his dad and said he could go up to Albany to do his shopping since it is a little bit closer. Of course I said he didn't have to come up here if he didn't want to...but what kind of girlfriend makes her boyfried go somewhere he wouldn't want to go. I was hoping that not seeing me all week would make him want to come up here to see me...especially since Saturday I'm gonna be in a pissyass mood because I'm on the air for 6 hours and his ass is gonna be in a damn production room anyway so I'm not even going to see him or spend time with him. Guess not.

I hate being like this because it makes me feel that I'm being too clingy or needy and that a good girlfriend would let her boyfriend do whatever he wanted. I can't help it. He work as much as me now and he never gets online when he gets home and I sit here looking like an idiot waiting for him so I can talk to him for a half hour before I go to bed. And when I don't get to talk to him I get upset and he doesn't understand why. *sigh* Now I gave myself a headache and made my mouth hurt again so I'm going to go take some drugs, eat some dinner, drink some coffee, and get ready to head out for the evening to get my mind off of Rich.

Did I mention the only time I'm happy is when I'm with him *sigh* No one ever said this would be easy.