Well...

So I'm getting fed up.

It's not what you might think. Work has actually been really good lately. My family has been fine...what's that leave? Yeah...you figure it out.

I can come home happy from work now...tired but nonetheless happy. Then when I try to share that with someone it just upsets me because sometimes it seems as if he doesn't care. Yeah he has his own stuff going on too...now more then ever with the new job, but I'm busy with my full time job and my part time job, yet I still make time to talk to him EVERYDAY, but he claims he's busy or he has to go do this or that, yeah thanks for making time for me, your girlfriend. I keep telling myself I'll give him a taste of his own medicine by not logging on line sometime to talk to him, but I can't because I actually want to talk to him. I guess that doesn't swing both ways though. Yet he doesn't seem to get it.

I talk to friends about it and they have some good advice in most cases, but in others they don't know what to do. I wish it didn't irritate me and upset me so much when he pulls this shit, but it does and I end up crying myself to sleep. That's healthy right? I know it's a guy thing, they obviously need their space and time away, fine, but we get all week away from each other because, well, apparently it's up to me to find time to spend together.

Here I go again, upset and alone, what's new there? You know it's kinda funny. This post was originally going to be about how I was actually happy for once spending almost all day with him yesterday, but how things change when yet again he's too busy to talk to me. Yet I always forgive him. Why? I know I hate confrontation and usually our arguments are on line, which is a pain in the ass. Maybe we need to talk it out, but he can't be serious enough to do that. When I'm upset he makes a joke about it or something. He doesn't get it. Yeah, sometimes it's good to laugh, but sometimes I want him to be serious. But when I get upset at him he makes me feel so freaking bad that I end up forgiving him. Maybe I'm out of line for getting upset but I think sometimes I have good reason to get upset.

If only this post would change anything...at least I feel a litle better after talking about it...if only...