Weird medical issues?

So lately I've been having some issues which I believe to be connected to my health. It's really weird. I was with my dad at an installation he was being installed at and I almost passed out. It's the weirdest feeling ever. My heart started racing, my ears started to ring, I started to sweat, my head was pounding, I started to get weak, my vision went white and I almost passed out. It was when I was standing at the beginning of the ceremony and then every time I stood after that it would start to come back. Now those of you that know me know I don't like being the center of attention so it would have been awful to go down, but I'm sure I was that close.

The reasoning behind it remains a mystery. I am prone to panic attacks when I get stressed and/or nervous, but I didn't feel stressed or nervous. I was my normal self, taking pictures for my dad, enjoying an evening with my family. Now for the past few days (since that day) I seem to be getting dizzy more often and have no idea why. I'm hoping it's not something serious. I have a clean bill of health for my heart, but it could be my blood pressure or blood sugar or something like that...who knows.

All I know is it's making me pretty nervous, especially if this begins to happen more regularly. Maybe the panic attacks I got as a teenager are getting worse. That would not be good. Any thoughts and/or suggestions? Anyone ever experience similar situations or symptoms?

Looking forward to a new adventure

Let's face it...sometimes your life just gets into a rut, right? You know what I'm talking about. The day to day activities are just that...the same thing from day to day. During the week it's quite simple, I wake up (way too early I might add!), I exercise, I get ready for work, I go to work, I get out of work and go home, sometimes exercise, eat dinner, and then sit in my chair on the computer until I go to bed and wake up the next morning to do it all over again. Now sometimes there is a little variety in my routine. Maybe I'll go out to dinner on a night, or something, but typically it's my regular routine. Sound exciting? Wait until you hear about the excitement of the weekends...I get up (get to sleep a little later!), exercise, go to church (on Sundays), go to work (on Saturdays), come home and sit in the chair on the computer. Exciting? Yeah, not so much.

I get tired of doing the same old thing from day to day. I'm only 24 years old, I should have a life and I should be living the life. I guess I'm not really sure how I do that. I've been working since age 15, and typically on weekends I had to be up at 4:30 in the morning to get to work, so I never had the opportunity to stay out late. Also I never had a whole lot of friends...just my little group, and now they are all busy either working or spending time with their signficant others (which I don't get to do all that often), and so I'm stuck in my routine.

So yes I am looking forward to my new job (which is not starting as of June 1 like originally planned). I think the variety in the job will help me get out of this rut I'm in. There is a lot more traveling involved with the position, and I like to travel, so that will be good. I also noticed I have missed the going out part of the job I had as a reporter, and the covering breaking news. The rush I got when I did that live spot on the radio about the guy arrested for attacking and raping a Utica girl was such a rush. Although the story was sad and disturbing, I got to tell the story and watch as it unfolded. Same thing with covering the breaking news of the women's body found behind a firehouse...there's something about breaking news that just gets your adrenaline flowing. Any reporter knows what I'm talking about. So being able to travel and go see different areas of the state (and Pennsylvania) and going to different events, I think it's going to be a good thing.

Although I'm happy and exciting about starting a new chapter of my life, some things never change when it comes to the routine...and for now we'll deal with that. What the future holds for me, only God knows, but for now I'll enjoy the journey.

Needle in a Haystack

You ever get that feeling like you're searching for a needle in a haystack? No matter what you will never find what you're looking for? Sometimes I feel like that. I'm scrambling around just trying to figure out where my life is heading or where I am supposed to be or what I'm supposed to be doing. Everything happens for a reason. I know that. God puts you where you are supposed to be at that time. With everything I've gone through, I've always landed on my feet.

I've always been a religious person. Been going to church my entire life. Your life is mapped out when you're a kid. You go to school. You participate in extracurricular activities. You go to church. Your parents pretty much take control and lead you through life, pretty much until you graduate from high school. Granted when you're in high school you get some freedom. You get to date, you can have summer jobs or jobs in general, you get to go out with your friends. But there's also a certain aspect of expectation placed on you to live up to your parents standards. You still follow their rules and have to listen to them or you won't be dating or going out with friends. Every teenager wants that freedom. They want to get away from that "expectation" and the "control" that parents have. I was never that type of kid. Rarely went out late at night, rarely dated (if you went to my school you'd know why!). I was a homebody. I liked being surrounded by my family and liked going out with my parents when they went shopping or out to dinner. Both my sisters didn't want to be seen with my parents when they got older, different personalities I guess.

But then you graduate high school, now what? Now your parents have let the reigns go. Now YOU decide what you want to do. I know I still felt pressure from my parents to continue schooling and go to college. I don't think I HAD to by any means. My parents would have supported my decision to not go to college, but they knew I could do more. My grades would only get me into a community college, but there I blossomed and after 2 years got accepted as a transfer at my original first choice college, which, for me, was a huge accomplishment. In my opinion, a female in the working field today, needs to have that bachelor's degree to compete with any men going for a certain position. It shows what you've accomplished and that you're a hard worker and able to compete in today's workforce. Then you graduate college...now what? There's no roadmap layed out like when you were a child. Now you're on your own. Parents will guide you and offer input if you ask, but essentially you're an adult. It's time to make decisions.

Getting my first full-time job was a huge accomplishment for me. Working there for a year gave me some graet experience. The day I was laid off I felt like my world was crumbling around me. But as I mention, everything happens for a reason. The shortest unemployment in history ended the same day it happened as I received a "part-time with benefits" job. That would at least keep me working until I found another job. When I thought everything around me was crumbling, it was God holding my hand, leading me to the next place I was supposed to be.

Most recently it was God standing by me as I first received the job at the Girl Scouts and a few weeks ago when I re-interviewed and received my first choice job in the new Girl Scout council.

Yeah, everything happens for a reason, now looking forward, I'm very excited about what the future will bring in both my working career and my life. Sometimes it's hard searching for that needle in a haystack, but in the end, the journey is well worth it.

Missing the days of camp...

Did you ever go to camp as a child? If not I think you missed out on something pretty amazing. I went to camp for a week every summer from about 5th grade to 9th grade (when I got too busy and started working during my summers). It always gave me something to look forward to every summer. So what brought on this reminscing about camp?

Yesterday at church it was "Camping Sunday." They brought in someone from my old camp to tell stories, sing campfire songs, and make s'mores with the kids. See the camp I went to every year was a Christian Camp, called Pathfinder Lodge. It's right outside Cooperstown, NY, and it was amazing. The days we went were interesting in the beginning...plain old log cabins with bunk beds, dirty bathrooms, no showers, but it was ok. It was part of the adventure of camping. If we wanted to shower we had to "Polar Bear" it, which meant getting up at like 6 in the morning and going down to the lake (which was VERY VERY VERY cold) that early in the morning, and we bathed in our bathing suits. By the time I went for my last year of camping, they had showers and were beginning to build new "cabins" which now look like suites. Totally insulated and away from the elements. I should go back and see how many of those have replaced the actual cabins. So during Camping Sunday I started to think about the friends I made and wish I had kept in contact with. I also sang and did the motions to every camping song they sang (it's a wonder how fast it all comes back). The campfires were awesome. Every night you got to gather around a campfire and sing the songs you learned, they told a story and ended the campfire in prayer, before the counselors led you back to the cabins. It was such a wonderful feeling to be surrounded by all these people that felt the same way as you and didn't care who you were. You were all there to have a good time and connect as Christians.

Of course there was swimming and arts and crafts at camp. They often played soccer, volleyball, and took you out on the boats. They had a camp shop to buy items and a snack shop. There was often some free time in the day where you could pretty much do what you wanted, so you'd hang out in the water or go do some arts and crafts. Also during the week they would label a few days, like "Backwords Day". That was my favorite, you dressed backwords, some people walked backwords, and the best part was eating your dessert first (it was backwords day after all!) You even had to sing for your mail during the week. That was pretty embarrasing, but in hindsight, very funny.

You know you think as a kid how great it would be to grow up and be able to do things you can't as a kid. I remember hearing people tell me that you whould enjoy being a kid as long as possible, and I guess I never understood that until looking back on what I've done throughout my life. I was anxious to get my first job at 14, and I did, but I can honestly say I finally realize...they were right. You should enjoy being a kid. You have the rest of your life to be an adult. I'll be working for the rest of my life. For now I love what I'm doing but my little trip down memory lane has taught me to appreciate everything in life. You don't know how much longer you'll be able to do it or hold onto it. Everything in life is precious, don't take it for granted.

It can really be done!!

Those of you that have ever fought with your weight can probably relate. Sitting in front of the television eating snack after snack, going out to grab fast food because it's easy, drinking soda morning, noon, and night. I used to do all that. Not that I don't feel the urge to splurge once in awhile but I come back to the fact that it's just not worth it.

My mom and I have been members of Weight Watchers for 7 months now. We went in skeptical about if this would even work. We'd both tried our own "diets" and could never make it work. We'd drop a couple pounds here or there but nothing substantial or long-term. Well get this, between the two of us we have lost 81 pounds. That's pretty amazing, right? I think the hardest part was walking through those doors. I had vowed to myself back in September that if I got this job at the Girl Scouts I would go to Weight Watchers and start to take care of myself. I think it was God's way of saying "you're worth it." Before all of this I didn't feel like I was. I wasn't happy in the job I was in, I wasn't happy about working nights all the time, and I was unhappy about the way I looked, so it was time for a change. We went to our first meeting in the beginning of October and have been going every Thursday since. The great thing about Weight Watchers is it's not just a diet where you lose weight and then go off the program food or whatever and put it back on. I hear so much about people going back to their old habits. This is about breaking those habits and creating a new way of life for you. You eat regular foods and you're allowed to have cookies and ice cream, you just have to write it down and use your points for it.

I'm gradually changing my way of living. I don't crave sweets as much and I used to have a Mountain Dew everyday. I've looked at the Mountain Dew now and it has like over 300 calories in a bottle I drank everyday, it's not worth it! I don't eat fast food. I'll go to Subway now and get a sub. I do still go out to dinner occassionally but am a little more aware of what I order there or cut down the portion size. I must be doing something right since I've dropped 39 pounds so far. Weight Watchers sets a goal for you to reach while on the program. Once you reach the goal you become a lifetime Weight Watchers member. I still have another 41 pounds to go, but I'm getting there! It's a week-by-week battle. I now exercise every single morning, and go to the gym on Saturday mornings. I've also gotten into the habit of exercising 3 or 4 nights a week as well. When I have a setback (like the trip to Vegas) I get right back on track the next week. I'm beginning to learn that it's just not worth it to splurge on sweets. I'd much rather be healthy. Exercising makes me feel better and I feel better about myself and buying new clothes (in smaller sizes!!)

So when I hear people complain about slipping back into their old routines or complain about not being able to lose weight, I point out that it can be done. My mom and I are living proof of that. When we both get down to our goal weights, we've decided to write a book describing our accomplishments and the hard work and energy that went into it. We both deserve it, and finally we see that!

Loving it

I'm finally happy. Happy about almost everything!

The call came in Friday evening. I got my first choice job with the new Girl Scout council. As of June 1 I will be the Media Manager, which focuses more on what I'm interested in then my current job does. Currently I do everything communications related, whether it be press releases, covering events the council holds, writing grants, designing and writing publications, etc. Now I will be communicating with media from throughout the 26 counties our council will serve. I'll be writing press releases, securing coverage for our council events, covering council events, and so on. 60% of the time I will be traveling throughout the council jurisdiction, which I'm really excited about. I like to travel and get out and meet people, so it'll be great to have this opportunity. My homebase will still be in the New Hartford office since I was told you get to choose the office you want to work out of. It's great! The stress from all of this has finally come to an end since I actually know where I'll be a month from now. As it got down to the point where you didn't know where you were going to be in 2 or 3 months, everyone around here was on edge, but as soon as I got the call I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. This is where I'm supposed to be and I'm excited about this new challenge and this new opportunity. Did I mention I get like a $6,000 raise? Yeah...sweet, right?

The celebrations are coming this weekend! My parents are taking me out to dinner on Saturday to celebrate. I'm hoping to be able to save up for a computer and a car, so I should be able to do that now that I'll be making more. I'm excited. I feel bad though since some of our co-workers aren't moving on...it's hard to be excited for myself but also know that they didn't get positions. It's hard.

I know I said I'm finally happy about almost everything in my life, but my work sometimes is all I have. I don't get to see my friends too much because they're busy working too (have to make a living somehow), and I don't get to see my boyfriend much because he doesn't live around here, but for once in my life it doesn't matter much. I'm happy, and right now...nothing can change that!