Vacation

So it's 8:40 in the evening the night before we leave on vacation and a few things keep running through my mind. I'm a little anxious about calling in sick to work tomorrow, I hate doing that, no matter what happens. They can't say much though, I'm gonna be sick tomorrow...lol. Second, I'm anxious about the drive, which I always get a little nervous about. Then I can't stop thinking about Rich. Yeah, I'm gonna be gone only a week, but I can't stand being away for a day, how am I gonna last like two weeks without him? I don't know. I know I'll make it, I always do, but to not be able to hug him and kiss him? It just sucks.

I am looking forward to being away from here for a week though. Sometimes you just have to get away. As they say distance brings people closer...yeah right...sure...lol.

So I probably will check in again the following week after I get back from vacation, just to warn ya :)

Ok, so I saw Carrie Underwood in concert for the second time in two years last Sunday. She was with Rodney Atkins at the New York State Fair, and both were amazing performances!! She is the one artist I will pay to see over and over again. My throat was a touch sore the following day from the screaming and I was on five hours of sleep to go to work that day, but it's all worth it to see her. She's the only past American Idol contestant I have ever voted for. I can't wait for her newest CD at the end of October.

Anyway, vacation time is awaiting...need to get my sleep. Have a wonderful week!!

A day...that's all it is...

So...yesterday I was having one of those days. You know, I love weekends. For one, I don't have to work an 8 hour day at the paper, for two I get to typically see Rich. Sometimes spend time with him outside of work, sometimes not, but either way, I love just being able to see him. Then the time goes where it's time to go our seperate ways. It always sucks, having to say goodbye and not sure when we're gonna see each other again. Yeah...probably the next Saturday, but it still sucks. Sometimes it hurts to just talk to him on the computer because it's not the same, but oh well, another sucky week on the way. So where'd my good attitude go? Home with Rich :( I'll be ok again by tomorrow, but Sunday's are hard. I don't know what else to do...

No :(

All I'm going to say is it's not going to be as easy as I thought...I don't know how much more I can take...

Day #1

So I guess this is technically day #1 of the new me. I don't feel different, lol. What a day to start this. Friday's are usually ok in the morning because I get out at 11 and don't have to worry about anything else, but I still have to go in later tonight, and that's when my mood starts to go down. Around 4:00 or so knowing that in a few hours I'm headed back in. I hate working Friday nights. However, I'm gonna try to change that attitude. Yes I have to work, but in one week is my Carrie concert, in two weeks is my vacation, and even better, tomorrow I get to see Rich. Not for nearly long enough but what would my life be like if I got everything I wanted? Oh yeah...pretty damn good.

So yeah...what a day.

Moving on however, my mom is turning 50 next year!! The big 5-0...and for my dad's 50th we did a huge party for him, of course I was the DJ, so my dad and I have been talking and we want to do something for my mom too. That's where I come in, I do powerpoint presentations...they take months to put together, scanning pictures, editing music, putting together the presentation. But they come out really nice. I've done three so far. The first one my mom and I did together for my dad's 50th birthday. I did the music, she did the presentation. Then for my older sisters college graduation I did one all by myself for her, and the third was for my little sister's high school graduation. I love doing those. Wish I could go into business doing it, but the equipment and time would consume it all and if I wasn't sure how much money would come in on it, it's not worth it yet. I think people would really get into it though. They're are so much fun to put together. Anyway, any great suggestions to make my mom's totally awesome? Like better then all the others? lol. Her birthday's not until next August (yes she just had it) but with work, I don't know how much time it'll take me to put it together, so I thought I'd start early. So if you have suggestions, definitely let me know!! What about a theme for the party? For my dad's we did the "it's a boy" theme, you know like all blue and kids things, like a baby shower type thing. So we need to come up with something awesome. Let's put our heads together *ouch* that had to hurt...hehe...ok, anyway, just leave some ideas!! I'll keep ya updated on the development of the party ideas!!

So what now? I'm bored..hmm...guess I'm off to find something good to do. Day #1 is going ok :)

Revelation

So here I am...another day kinda behind me. Not really, still have to go voicetrack the overnight and then going to a village board meeting tonight before Big Brother at 8...don't know if I'll be home in time for that though.

Anyway, I did some thinking yesterday and think I came up with something. I need to start to take control of my life. Nothing is going to change unless I want it to change. If I don't like my job well it's time to start doing something about it. If I'm not happy with myself it's time to start doing something to change that. If I don't feel good then it's time to look at why that's the case and what I can do to change it.

So I started doing that today. Well, technically yesterday. I e-mailed the guy from the OD and set up kind of a "phone interview" type thing. I'm calling hime tomorrow after I get home from work. That's the first part. I start excercising again and I wore a skirt for the first time to work, and believe it or not I had a good day. The editor interviewed someone else for the open reporter job, and him and I got along really good today. So I'm doing ok right now. I'm going to try to change myself...gradually...but nonetheless change. I want to be a happier more active person. Not someone who just works and sleeps...although work does consume many hours in my days lately. I need to stop relying on people or expecting anything from people, when I'm capable of doing things myself. I can be independent too! lol.

So what brought on this sudden change? Well...two people actually. They probably don't know it, but my mom flipped out yesterday at me and my sister. As much as it hurts when she gets like that, she made some sort of sense in a weird type of way. Then it was Rich...so he's reading this going what? :) (Am I right?) lol...but yeah, I'm not going into too much detail but I know he can get upset/irritated with me when I rant about things, maybe not even that...but he gets irritated with me. It's not worth losing someone I care deeply about. The last thing I want is to push anyone away, so I'm going to try to change my attitude.

I know I know...easier said then done, but we'll see and I'll keep ya updated :) Hope you have a wonderful day!!

Remember Me This Way...

"Remember Me This Way" from the movie Casper...if you were meant to get this you will...you know who you are...

Every now and then We find a special friend Who never lets us down Who understands it all Reaches out each time you fall You're the best friend that I've found I know you can't stay But part of you will never ever go away Your heart will stay

I'll make a wish for you And hope it will come true That life will just be kind To such a gentle mind If you lose your way Think back on yesterday Remember me this way Remember me this way

I don't need eyes to see The love you bring to me No matter where I go And I know that you'll be there Forever more a part of me You're everywhere I'll always care

I'll make a wish for you And hope it will come true That life will just be kind To such a gentle mind If you lose your way Think back on yesterday Remember me this way Remember me this way

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you I'll be standing by your side in all you do And I won't ever leave As long as you believe You just believe

I'll make a wish for you And hope it will come true That life will just be kind To such a gentle mind If you lose your way Think back on yesterday Remember me this way Remember me this way This way