No title necessary for this one

Have you ever had one of those days? You know the day I'm talking about...you keep waiting for something good to come out of the day and things just get worse and worse and soon you wonder if things could get any worse. Well I'm here to tell you things can always get worse. The bright spot in my day was getting an unexpected carnation which cheered me up for a little bit. It came from an unexpected source...tomorrow Lite 98.7 is recognizing working women, so I got a carnation. At least for a little bit I felt appreciated by someone. It's nearly 8 p.m. and I just sit here like a bump on a log and like a pathetic person hoping something good will come out of the day. It's like waiting for snow in August in my opinion. Lately I seem to be having more bad days then good. I get irritated with my Editor at work who always expects me to go out and get pictures he needs...damn get someone else to do it sometimes, I have work to do in the office at times too. To top it off I've been suffering a freaking headache for two straight days now. I'm wondering if it's either a sinus or stress headache. I know when I get really stressed I get a headache and it won't go away until some sort of relief comes. That ain't gonna happen anytime soon...I don't only stress about work...there's always family and...well...other things too. I don't want to talk about it anymore, I'll just get irritated again. I think I need time away from EVERYTHING. I need to do something for me, but by the time I get out of work I never feel like doing something for myself or by myself. I usually unwind by sitting on my computer and chatting...but looky here...no one's here...so I feel lost and don't know what to do with myself. I think I better stop now before I get upset...so until next time...if I make it there...

Why the hell is it so hard to get what I want?

So this week has been long and I have been very tired. The only thing I was looking forward to was the weekend...well I still look forward to the dance night Friday night...now I don't give two shits about the weekend. So why the hell is it so hard for me to get what I want lately? So is it really worth it? I'm beginning to wonder...

So what is there really to say?

I know I haven't updated in awhile. Been kinda busy doing something called work. I know...very depressing I must say. Also been dealing with something called snow...ugh...it's April already, we should be done with this!! Anyway...been a lot going on here. A local police officer was gunned down in the line of duty last week and I've covered press conferences and done stories on it. This is the second local officer to be killed in the line of duty in a little over a year and I had to cover both of them and it is so hard to stay impartial and write like a journalist is supposed to. Then with everything happening at Virginia Tech, I've been following up on that and finding out local links to that. It's been busy, which is good, but tiring and it all eventually takes a toll on me, mentally and emotionally anyway. Lately I feel mentally drained. Nothing seems to matter anymore. Emotionally I just don't know that I can keep dealing with some of this. It's so sad and it's the responsbility of a journalist to remain impartial and report on the facts without any emotion creeping in. I've talked to some ex-journalists who said they got out of the field because of what I'm describing. They say they mentally burned out because of things like this. I don't want to do that because I seriously love what I'm doing. As for the station...I'm not even going to go into that right now. Do I still like it? Of course...I just have some things I need to think about when it comes to that. I guess that's all for now...I have some thinking to do...

So yeah...

So I'm sitting here at 7:51 a.m. wondering why the hell I'm up so early. It's not as odd as it use to be. I get up at 5 every morning so it's rare for me to sleep past 7 or 8 on the weekends anymore. But I didn't go to bed until almost 2 a.m...you do the math. Let me add that my nose is running, my throat hurts, my head is throbbing even my ears are beginning to hurt...yesterday all this started and I thought it was allergies because the pollen count is very high and it was 55 or so outside. But today...I'm convinced I am subject to another fun spring cold. I can barely talk, which is going to make on-air work this week very fun for me. You see, one of the few jobs where losing your voice or having a cold would seriously affect you. I just took some cold medicine and some tylenol for my head...I have a box of tissues to my right and a cup of nice hot coffee to my left. After the coffee is done I'm going to take a nice warm shower and try to get ready for the day since I have to head out to Little Falls around noon to cover an event for the paper. Sleeping was a disaster for me last night. There were spurts when I got nice and comfy and slept very well, but most of the time I woke up every half hour to either drink water or move around because my nose was running. I hate sleeping when I have a cold...I never actually sleep. In turn that makes me very grumpy and irritable and just not in a great mood. I'm not in a horrible mood yet though. I got to wake up next to Rich which in itself can put anyone in a good mood...lol. Also I'm looking forward to my parents coming home today. They went out of town for the weekend to go to a youth convention for church. You might think I'm crazy for wanting them to come home, but as much as they can annoy me at times, the house is very quiet without them home. So what's coming up for me this week? Hopefully another good week like last week. Won't be as good because I don't get to see Rich everyday...but he's working up here Monday and Friday so I'll probably get to see him a couple days. uh oh...coffee's almost gone, guess that means it's shower time then time for another cup of coffee...wish I could stay home all day, curl up in a ball on the couch and sleep. That's probably what I need to feel better. But hopefully I'm not at this event too long today and I can come home and do just that. *crosses fingers* Anyway...I'll try to keep you updated on the progress of this cold and see how well my immune system does at fighting it away...it's kinda doing a crappy job now. Until next time...